# whats your lamest joke



## MR.FREEZ (Jan 26, 2004)

the stupidest joke you got you know the kind that stick in you head for years

and are so stupid there funny

like this one

were does a fisherman go when hes sick?

to the doc k


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## crazyklown89 (Aug 28, 2003)

I got this when I was getting some tooth piece taken out and I was hopped up on Laughing Gas. I couldnt laughin my ass off

The dentist:
Hey Kev, what do you call a sleeping bull?

Me:
A lazy one?? Hehehehee

Dentist:
No! a bulldozer!!

Me:
.........AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


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## SERRAPYGO (Feb 4, 2003)

What's green and goes 30 miles per hour in reverse?

*SNIIIFFFFFFFFFFF!*


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## Guest (Mar 2, 2004)

A baby seal walks into a club.


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## RhomZilla (Feb 12, 2003)

This an old one...

"Why did the chicken cross the road??"

Cause he felt like it...


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## pamonster (Jun 26, 2003)

My little brother told me this on when he was 3..........

Him: How many chicken cross the road?

Me: How many?

Him: "SCREAMS" POTATO!!!!!!!

lol, i laughed my ass off :laugh:


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## Piran-huhs? (Jul 23, 2003)

2 peanuts were walking down the street and were aSalted!

The energizer bunny was arrested today, he was charged with battery!


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## thePACK (Jan 3, 2003)

whats a pirates favorite letter...

R..


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## pcrose (Mar 9, 2003)

You want to see my ass?
(Then you show a picture of a donkey)

very corny but funny


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## SLANTED (Dec 7, 2003)

Don't get me started on lame jokes. I have so many it's scary. Here's one:

What is brown and sticky?

Answer. A stick


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## rbP NUT (Dec 2, 2003)

2 cows in a field,
one goes "MOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
the other says, "you bastard i was going to say that"


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## No0dles (Dec 16, 2003)

SLANTED: HAHAHAHAH THAT'S THE FUNNIEST sh*t!


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## 521 1N5 (Apr 25, 2003)

a man walks into a Bar, he says "OUCH"


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## notoriouslyKEN (Jul 31, 2003)

Me: Knock Knock
You: Who's there?
Me: The Interrupting Cow
You: The Interrupting C-
Me: *MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!*

it's all about the timing on this one. plus it's fun to yell moo at people


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## b_ack51 (Feb 11, 2003)

two muffins were put into an oven and the first muffin says to the second 'damn its hot in hell' and the second muffin says 'holy sht a talking muffin!'

a skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.


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## Burf (Nov 3, 2003)

Whats brown and runs around a garden??

A fence!!


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## Burf (Nov 3, 2003)

How much does a dead budgie cost???

I dunno but its not going cheep!!!


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## 94NDTA (Jul 14, 2003)

What the f*ck is a budgie?


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## Innes (Jan 13, 2003)

whats the differance between light and hard?

... you can get to sleep with a light on.


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## Chad_linden (Dec 3, 2003)

94NDTA said:


> What the f*ck is a budgie?


 LOL









I pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his pants zipper
The barteneder says, "what's with the steering wheel?"
Pirate, "Arrrgh, It's driving me' nuts!"


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## Burf (Nov 3, 2003)

94NDTA said:


> What the f*ck is a budgie?


A bugdie:


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## DonH (Jan 25, 2003)

What's the difference between broccoli and boogers?

Kids won't eat broccoli...


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## SLANTED (Dec 7, 2003)

Where does the king keep his army?

Up his sleevie.


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## MR.FREEZ (Jan 26, 2004)

whats a shark eat for lunch?

peanut butter and jelly fish sandwhich


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## Winkyee (Feb 17, 2003)

mr.freez said:


> the stupidest joke you got you know the kind that stick in you head for years
> 
> and are so stupid there funny
> 
> ...


 Hmmm,
It's a long one

A dude goes to the bar wanting a drink, He's only got 5 bucks and pretty soon he's bugging everyone to buy him a drink. Finally one guy who's had enough of the guy begging drinks slaps a $100 bill on the table and tells the guy he can have it if he grabs the Spittoon and drinks it's contents..
This raises many eyebrows and sends one guy scrambling to the washroom . anyway, the guy picks it up and starts drinking after two gulps the guy with the 100 bucks is gagging and yells for the guy to stop drinking .. NOW!!
The dude keeps glugging the spittoon contents down gulp gulp gulp. for another full 30 seconds . 
When he stops drinking the guy hands him the 100 bucks and asks him why he didn't stop drinking when he told him to...
The guy says back gagging and drooling .......

I got a stringer


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## Judazzz (Jan 13, 2003)

What is the closest thing to a woman's period?

>Your SALARY... It comes once a month, lasts 4 or 5 days, and if it doesn't 
come, you are F*CKED!!!


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## MR.FREEZ (Jan 26, 2004)

why are fish so smart?

there always in school


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## CKY (Apr 14, 2003)

knock knock!

Who's there?

Pileup

Pileupwho

haha!

( get it, like pile of poo )

Or

a little girl walks into the kitchen and says mommy why'd you name me what you did? and the mom says, well a rose peddle fell on yer head when you were born so we named you rose. Another girl walks into the room and says, mommy why'd you name me what you did? and the mom says be a daisy peddle fell on yer head when you were born so we named you daisy. Than a little boy walks into the room and say, aghahah ghafa ghlka ghagha gha and the mom says, Shut up fridge!


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## SLANTED (Dec 7, 2003)

How many ears does Captain Kirk have?

He has three. The right ear, the left ear, and the final front ear.


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## Furgwa (Sep 23, 2003)

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says " why the long face?"


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## badforthesport (Jan 8, 2004)

wanna hear a dirty joke...

a white cat fell in the mud!

LAME

i told that to a guy once and he was laughing his ass of for a week.


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## Bigkrup444 (Oct 6, 2003)

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a lil boogie in it


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## Bigkrup444 (Oct 6, 2003)

i just read this one in playboy
2 blondes walk into a building. you'd think one of them would have seen it


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## DonH (Jan 25, 2003)

Somewhere in Alabama:

Half dressed ******* couple sitting on couch watching news on TV with man's arm around woman:

Man: "Lookit them ****-sekshuls a ruining the sanctity of our institution. We oughta go to San Francisco just to show them liberals that marriage means one man, one woman. Right, Darlin'"

Woman: "Right, Daddy"


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## SLANTED (Dec 7, 2003)

So a piece of string wants to get a drink in this bar. He walks in and before he gets to a bar stool, the bartender screams from across the room," We don't serve string in here!."
So he leaves and goes into the alley and starts beating the crap out of himself. When he looks pretty bad he goes back into the bar. The bartender looks at him and asks," aren't you that string I just kicked out?"

And the string goes. . . . ( wait for it)......... " No, I'm a frayed knot."


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## RBPFan (Dec 1, 2003)

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothin', you already told her twice.


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## Ms_Nattereri (Jan 11, 2003)

RBPFan said:


> What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
> 
> Nothin', you already told her twice.


 Ha!


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## Winkyee (Feb 17, 2003)

A horse walks into a bar
the bartender says"
Hey, Why the long face?


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## Ms_Nattereri (Jan 11, 2003)

winkyee said:


> A horse walks into a bar
> the bartender says"
> Hey, Why the long face?










Thats old!


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## SLANTED (Dec 7, 2003)

A man is sitting at home when there is a knock at the door. He gets up and opens it and standing before him is a six foot tall grass hopper with boxing gloves on. Just when the man is about to say something, the grasshopper proceeds to beat the living hell out of him and leaves him bloodied on his own door step. So the man drags himself to the doctor and describes the horrific details. The doctor listens and says," Yeah, there is a nasty bug going around."


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## vtecbro007 (Feb 11, 2004)

this joke is kinda racial but i dont mean to affend anyone so plz dont get affended,..... So u wake up in da middle of da night and see your TV float,......................................wat do u say?

DROP IT #REMOVED#!


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## RBPFan (Dec 1, 2003)

I'm not racist, but I appreciate a good racial joke, whether it be about me, or anyone, so with that said.......

If you are driving down the road, why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike?

It could be your bike.


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## vtecbro007 (Feb 11, 2004)

a mexican and a African american (#REMOVED#) are in a car whose driving?

da POlice


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## vtecbro007 (Feb 11, 2004)

wat do u call a mexican without a CAR?

CAR-LOS


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## RBPFan (Dec 1, 2003)

How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a chick?

Throw them a basketball.

What do you call one white guy surrounded 10 black guys?

Coach


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## BoomerSub (Jun 23, 2003)

What would Marilyn Monroe be doing right now if she was alive?

Scratching at the lid of her coffin.

-PK


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## ProdigalMarine (Jan 31, 2003)

want to come home with me?


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## Piran-huhs? (Jul 23, 2003)

Why did so many black people die in the Vietnam war?!?!?

Cuz when they shouted "GET DOWN" they all started dancing!!!!!!!!


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## Chad_linden (Dec 3, 2003)

RBPFan said:


> What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
> 
> Nothin', you already told her twice.


MY girlfriend asked me load the dishwasher...

So I got her drunk


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## Scooby (Dec 25, 2003)

hahaha funny yet lame... i love it


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## b_ack51 (Feb 11, 2003)

bad racial joke, by my roommate told me it and i just peed myself...

this black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. 
he goes up to the bartender and says 'can i get a budlight please?' and the bartender says 'cute animal, where did you get it?' 
and the parrot says "africa"


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## t_h_e_s_a_c_k (Nov 16, 2003)

Q: What's pink and fluffy?

A: Pink fluff.


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## skater_4_lyfe (Jul 24, 2003)

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza 
a pizza doesn't scream in the oven!!!


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## SLANTED (Dec 7, 2003)

> whats the difference between a jew and a pizza
> a pizza doesn't scream in the oven!!!


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## 94NDTA (Jul 14, 2003)

SLANTED said:


> > whats the difference between a jew and a pizza
> > a pizza doesn't scream in the oven!!!
> 
> 
> :rock:


 Holocaust....incinerators...it's a horrible joke.


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## mattmatt123 (Nov 13, 2003)

knock knock!
whos there ?
boo!
boo who ?
you dont have to cry about it!


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## MR.FREEZ (Jan 26, 2004)

why did tigger stick his head in the toilet?

he was lookin for winnie the pooh


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## garybusey (Mar 19, 2003)

94NDTA said:


> SLANTED said:
> 
> 
> > > whats the difference between a jew and a pizza
> ...


 Wow I thought It was getting bad With all The Black jokes..... Now the holocaust? Tact Right out the window!


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