# Contraband found in Lance Armstrong's hotel room



## mdmedicine (Dec 20, 2004)

Did you hear? They found two banned items in Lance Armstrong's hotel room.

Tooth Paste and Deodorant are both illegal in France.


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## Azeral (Dec 28, 2004)

mdmedicine said:


> Did you hear? They found two banned items in Lance Armstrong's hotel room.
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> Tooth Paste and Deodorant are both illegal in France.
> [snapback]1109616[/snapback]​


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## PuffPiff (May 23, 2005)

dude that is the funniest thing i have ever heard


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## nismo driver (Jan 27, 2004)

haha nice...


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## bjmarche (Jun 30, 2005)

ha ha thanks man i needed to laugh, made my day so far.


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## 94NDTA (Jul 14, 2003)

ahahahaha.....French people....


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## MR.FREEZ (Jan 26, 2004)

the title scared me for a minute


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## Judazzz (Jan 13, 2003)

Don't let this (once again) turn into a mindless country bashing contest








Just as a reminder: we do have French members, and a French sponsor...


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## Scrap5000 (Mar 4, 2005)

Judazzz said:


> Don't let this (once again) turn into a mindless country bashing contest
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We won't, I promise. Cause everyone knows they're too yellow to defend themselves. Hahahah. Sorry, couldn't resist...


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## Gordeez (Sep 21, 2003)




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## 94NDTA (Jul 14, 2003)

Judazzz said:


> Don't let this (once again) turn into a mindless country bashing contest
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OK father.....


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## JAC (Jan 19, 2004)

lol


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## Scrappy (Oct 21, 2004)

Hahahahahah. Can I nominate this for funniest thread of the year?


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## lightning2004 (Jun 25, 2005)

cmon guy we was warned about makingfun of the french..seieng has we have a few french members..lets not turn this into a 6th grade thing..


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## diceman69 (Apr 30, 2004)

good one.


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## mdserras (May 28, 2004)

:laugh: good one! i have relatives in france but it's just the truth


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## elTwitcho (Jun 22, 2004)

Scrap5000 said:


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I guess that'd be true if you have no grasp of history, is the american education system honestly that bad or did you just not pay much attention? When exactly did France decline to defend themselves in any major war again?


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## lightning2004 (Jun 25, 2005)

elTwitcho said:


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well its too late to stop this..lol


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## 94NDTA (Jul 14, 2003)

elTwitcho said:


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I beleive it was the war on Iraq and the failure to pay what they promised for WWII. I don't really know, and don't care. I just thought the joke was funny.


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## elTwitcho (Jun 22, 2004)

94NDTA said:


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DE-FEND themselves. If you think the french just up and surrendered in any conflict you've got a serious misunderstanding of history which isn't at all surprising considering some of the other things people say about what country did what in world war 2.


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## 94NDTA (Jul 14, 2003)

elTwitcho said:


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I allready said I don't really know why everyone is upset with France, so get off my back. Please twitch, don't turn this into another one of your threads.


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## K fizzly (Aug 27, 2004)

its illegal to buy those things and nair for women in pakistan


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## Scrappy (Oct 21, 2004)

94NDTA said:
 

> I allready said I don't really know why everyone is upset with France, so get off my back. Please twitch, don't turn this into another one of your threads.
> [snapback]1110033[/snapback]​


Exactly. It was a f'n joke, now it's gonna turn into a history lesson. It's changing from a lighthearted thread into a debate.


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## 94NDTA (Jul 14, 2003)

scrappydoo said:


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Exactly....you can always count on twitch to bust out into an arguement at the drop of a hat.


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## crazyklown89 (Aug 28, 2003)

K fizzly said:


> its illegal to buy those things and nair for women in pakistan
> [snapback]1110041[/snapback]​


You guys should've stuck with India.

"Noooo we need to have our OWN state cause it's so unbearable living amongst Hindus and whatnot. We'll just become their direct neighbors! WAAAHHH"


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## User (May 31, 2004)

K fizzly said:


> its illegal to buy those things and nair for women in pakistan
> [snapback]1110041[/snapback]​


What do you mean illegal? Men can buy those items but women can't?

or

Men can buy those items but can't give them to women? Either way how does Pakinstan enforce such shitty laws?


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## K fizzly (Aug 27, 2004)

its a joke

because the older women dont shave...and dont wear deodorant...at least in my village

and neither do the men


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## User (May 31, 2004)

Oh a joke. Sometime a person can't tell if its a joke if Pakistan or any Stan is mentioned.


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## EZmoney (May 13, 2004)

Haha







that's a good one!

jokebiter








http://www.piranha-fury.com/pfury/index.ph...lance+armstrong


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## lemmywinks (Jan 25, 2004)

that's funny









and yes, it was a joke if you couldnt tell twitcho... lighten up


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## DrewBoOty (Nov 23, 2002)

gamgenius said:


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haha, I thought you were the one who posted that, and not him..

still hilarious


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## Guest (Jul 13, 2005)

Jesus people, not another France bashing vs Level headedness arguement....Great joke though!

--Dan


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## K fizzly (Aug 27, 2004)

u look like a girl


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## elTwitcho (Jun 22, 2004)

94NDTA said:


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And by that token you can count on you to say somethind defamatory and stupid and not want to stand behind it, right? If someone made a joke about Americans being stupid or (god forbid, ignorant) you'd throw such a sh*t over it and go off into a patriotism fueled diatribe about how the whole world just sucks your dick anyway but you think it's all fine and good so long as it's not your country getting trashed. I guess it would just be stupid to expect anything else anyway


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## lemmywinks (Jan 25, 2004)

elTwitcho said:


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wow. twich, i think you talk more sh*t about other countries (mainly america) than anybody on this site. so im not exactly sure if you should be telling this guy how wrong it is to talk about other countries


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## jiggy (Jun 27, 2004)

1st grade called.. they want their insults back..


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## William's (Aug 23, 2004)

Scrap5000 said:


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You guys are so funny...
Sometimes it's a good thing to read some international news .Last year there were problems
in Cote d'ivoir .The french have a peace keeping job there.Now some french soldiers died in a bombardement overthere.They solved the problem by destroying the Ivorian air-force.
Problem solved ,no civilians killed..
by the way I am not french ,but it's irritating that people allways want to make fun of france
cus they didn't want to be involved in the Iraq war which killed allready between 20 000 and
80 000 civilians and every day there are more deaths ,iraqis and americans .

Just my opinion

PS it was a good joke though


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## Mettle (Dec 29, 2003)

elTwitcho said:


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Exactly... The Germans were simply misunderstood. And that's not my heritage speaking, either.


















WORD.

http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=192


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## lightning2004 (Jun 25, 2005)

i knew this sh*t was gona go south..lol


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## Mettle (Dec 29, 2003)

lightning2004 said:


> i knew this sh*t was gona go south..lol
> [snapback]1110436[/snapback]​


South, huh? As in the deep south? Are you saying you support the KKK's campaign against French people? HUH?

*I don't even know what I'm saying - just trying to lighten the mood in this thread once more.*


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## Guest (Jul 14, 2005)

K fizzly said:


> u look like a girl
> [snapback]1110246[/snapback]​


Better than a Muslim want to be black guy









--Dan


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## MR.FREEZ (Jan 26, 2004)

Mettle said:


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goin south as in getttin bad or gettin shitty


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## crazyklown89 (Aug 28, 2003)

DannyBoy17 said:


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Damnit, Dannyboy, it's "Muslim wannabe black guy". Get your insults in shape.


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## lightning2004 (Jun 25, 2005)

this thread going south has in going down,getting shitty,,getting bad..however you wana look at it..lol


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## Mettle (Dec 29, 2003)

MR.FREEZ said:


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Do you ever... laugh?









It was a joke.


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## sprtslvr785 (Mar 3, 2005)

Good one! Dont forget to add shavers and shaving cream too.


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## 94NDTA (Jul 14, 2003)

elTwitcho said:


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diatribe.....good word.

"you'd throw such a sh*t over it and go off into a patriotism fueled diatribe about how the whole world just sucks your dick anyway but you think it's all fine and good so long as it's not your country getting trashed. I guess it would just be stupid to expect anything else anyway"

That is really funny. I never have done anything of the sort, but you keep thinking what you want.

I was just trying to give you an answer to why everyone hates France....this is what people have TOLD ME....not why I hate France, cuz I don't. Whatever...go apeshit...make a big fuss over something so stupid. I'm sure even after me explaining this you will still Call me stupid, or say I don't know my history, etc etc and so forth. Just shut the f*ck up and don't talk to me anymore.


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## Judazzz (Jan 13, 2003)

There's a difference between criticising a country for its actions and how the affect the rest of the world, and bashing a country without even knowing why (as most do - bringing up the lack of French support to illegally invade Iraq as a reason to bash France is plain ignorant, irrelevant and shows a clear lack of understanding history and currents events alike).
I respect the French, and also the Begians, Germans and Russians, for their decision: at least they are not responsible for the condition this planet is in now, the increasing polarisation, Iraq being a mess, global terrorism on the increase because of Iraq (I'm not going to explain the obvious and direct correlation between Iraq and the increase in global terrorism again). I wish I could say my country had no part in that...

Yes, criticising the US for its actions easily deteriorates into bashing, as it's a thin line, and it's pointless and needless, but it's not comparable to bashing the French without being able to name one proper reason for it. And face it, there's a lot of reasons the US can be rightfully criticized for, as far as their foreign policy and global conduct go. Their actions affect not just the Americans, and just that is enough reason to be critical.

Just in case anyone forgot: you owe your political system (parliamentary democracy), your independence (to a certain extent) and your national symbol (Statue of Liberty) to them - talk about gratitude.
Bringing up WW2 is also a sign of a wrong perception of history (not sure it that's a personal decision to adopt that idea, just hopping the band wagon, wheter your educational system is to blame, or whatever): France fell just as easily as the rest of Europe, and that is no sign of cowardice, lack of fighting spirit or whatever (the Nazi's overrunning France was as inevitable as the eventual downfall of Nazi Germany later).
If the French kept fighting, Paris and all the other major cities faced the same fate as Rotterdam (being bombed to shreds to force them into submission) - and since the US only has Pearl Harbour and 9/11 as comparison, you don't even have right to pass judgement about that: Americans have no clue how it is to have a total war on your own soil: no how terrible Pearl Harbour or 9/11 were, they completely pale with the devastation of Europe - they are not even comparable.

So can anyone explain why it is so "cool" to bash the French, with valid reasons??? I'm really wondering what the reasons for that are, as I can't find any...


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## Jewelz (Feb 24, 2004)

Judazzz said:


> So can anyone explain why it is so "cool" to bash the French, with valid reasons??? I'm really wondering what the reasons for that are, as I can't find any...
> [snapback]1111338[/snapback]​












Why don't you tell me why you think it's cool to bash the French ?











Judazzz said:


> I know it's too little too late, and given the course of this thread a little off-topic, but isn't "FRANCE" and "GIVE UP" the same answer?
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http://www.piranha-fury.com/pfury/index.ph...68&#entry619668


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## psychofish (Jun 5, 2004)




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## Judazzz (Jan 13, 2003)

> I bet most of those that do never even saw someone from France in eal life, let alone talked to one.


oh sh*t don't kill me jonas..














i wanted to quote you and i erase your comment..


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## Judazzz (Jan 13, 2003)

Ok Raf, that's it







I hereby sentence you to two years hard time in Iraq
















Seriously though, there was not much I said: just that making one remark is not comparable to structural bashing of French, especially without even knowing why. And that I sure that most that love to bash them never ever saw someone from France in real life, let alone talked to them - a very sound basis to point fingers







(yet it's very characteristic)


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## diddye (Feb 22, 2004)

well in keeping w/ the theme of this thread, one reason I hate the french is their total disrespect for lance just because he is an american and he dominates their sport. They accuse him of doping w/o any evidence. During his runs, they will spit and throw things at him. Sports is one of the things that should transcend political hatred. Thats one of the reasons the olympics is so special. Sports is something you should enjoy and respect no matter what.


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## Scrappy (Oct 21, 2004)

diddye said:


> well in keeping w/ the theme of this thread, one reason I hate the french is their total disrespect for lance just because he is an american and he dominates their sport. They accuse him of doping w/o any evidence. During his runs, they will spit and throw things at him. Sports is one of the things that should transcend political hatred. Thats one of the reasons the olympics is so special. Sports is something you should enjoy and respect no matter what.
> [snapback]1113324[/snapback]​


I hear what you're saying. My brother competes at the world level for speedskating, and he hates competing in France because of how much they hate Americans. Same deal as with Lance, when he's skating, French spectators will throw stuff, spit, even try to run on the track and get in the way of the skaters.


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## elTwitcho (Jun 22, 2004)

diddye said:


> well in keeping w/ the theme of this thread, one reason I hate the french is their total disrespect for lance just because he is an american and he dominates their sport. They accuse him of doping w/o any evidence. During his runs, they will spit and throw things at him. Sports is one of the things that should transcend political hatred. Thats one of the reasons the olympics is so special. Sports is something you should enjoy and respect no matter what.
> [snapback]1113324[/snapback]​


You really think your country is much better? In the OLYMPICS when the final in Salt Lake city came down to Canada vs US in women's Hockey the American refs had the Canadian team playing shorthanded for something like 63% of the game, they spent every minute of the second period shorthanded. This same Canadian team had the lowest penalty minutes of any team in the tournament prior to that so don't even bother with that crap like you guys are much better. Every country in the whole world is going to do something it should be ashamed of, thinking you're any better is ridiculous.


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## pamonster (Jun 26, 2003)

haha


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## Scrap5000 (Mar 4, 2005)

elTwitcho said:


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Damn Twitch, it's people like you that will make me not feel bad when Canada is defeated by a gang of seven year olds with slingshots. No offence to anyone else from Canada - been there a few times and I loved it.
Don't try giving me a history lesson again, I've graduated long ago, you're still doing homework. Read the book about Rwanda's genocide (We wish to inform you that tomorrow we will be killed along with our families), read The Guns of August, re-read your history books and see whether or not they became Nazi collaborators, look at numerous reports about their financial support and infrastructure in all countries where US banks are banned due to terrorism ties or human rights violations, go to France yourself like I did - as a fellow European, speaking Italian, and see for yourself the cold reception you get, take a good, hard, long look at their lack of gratitude for all the US has done for them, and then tell me whether or not needling them - hell, I BOYCOTT them - is in order or not. Then again, maybe YOU will get a warm reception, since you seem to think just like them.
And judazz, i like you, but you bring up some points I have to disagree with. Belgium fought them in WWI tooth and nail, so did Russia (loosing millions, then in WWII burning everything themselves to keep the germans from getting it), so who showed bravery, and who surrendered to keep their precious city of lights intact? And the french constitution was written 100 years after America's. The legal system? Please - that goes back to Roman times of guilty till proven innocent. Statue of Liberty? That was designed by a french guy of Italian decent, my friend.


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## K fizzly (Aug 27, 2004)

*rollseyes"

plz...stop with that corny sh*t

u went to school a long time ago...lol u do know since then school has gotten harder...


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## Scrap5000 (Mar 4, 2005)

K fizzly said:


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What, exactly, is the point of your post? It's gotten harder b/c you've had to learn the new things & theories discovered in the same amount of time as people before you with less knowledge to be gathered, while people who keep up their education learn it as it comes out.


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## diddye (Feb 22, 2004)

elTwitcho said:


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> ...


What? Thats a pretty lame response. You are going to say the US is disrespectful b/c american refs made the canadian team play shorthanded? I'm calling you out on that one b/c thats stupid. American refs who probably made them play by the rules vs FRENCH CITIZENS spitting and throwing things and running in front of lance DURING his competition are two outworldly different things.


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## Scrap5000 (Mar 4, 2005)

diddye said:


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Preach it! Not even slightly comparable. 
Even if it's true about the refs, that would be like saying the whole country of Korea is disrespectful b/c a few of their refs cheated during the Olympics in Seoul, and the World Cup in Japan. What do a few jerk refs have to do with the national sentiment and actions of ordinary citizens and of governments?


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## sadboy (Jan 6, 2005)

Will this thread is down south but it was funny while it lasted.


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## Scrap5000 (Mar 4, 2005)

sadboy said:


> Will this thread is down south but it was funny while it lasted.
> [snapback]1113546[/snapback]​


Word, let's bring it back up. Here's a cool google search:

View attachment 69384


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## K fizzly (Aug 27, 2004)

lololol...u made my day scrap...that was the funniest sh*t i seen this week


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## Scrap5000 (Mar 4, 2005)

K fizzly said:


> lololol...u made my day scrap...that was the funniest sh*t i seen this week
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Thanks, I try, bro


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## elTwitcho (Jun 22, 2004)

diddye said:


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Not a good enough answer for you? How about the fans in New York and Buffalo who booed the Canadian anthem at the beginning of NHL games after one of your incompetent pilots dropped a bomb on Canadian troops during a training exercise?

Or is that also being respectful in a "uniquely american way" by your books?


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## elTwitcho (Jun 22, 2004)

Scrap5000 said:


> Even if it's true about the refs, that would be like saying the whole country of Korea is disrespectful b/c a few of their refs cheated during the Olympics in Seoul, and the World Cup in Japan.
> [snapback]1113498[/snapback]​


And yet it's ok to say the whole country of France is disrespectful because a few of their officials accused Lance Armstrong of doping? The logic is astounding, how do you keep track of things in your head with a completely arbitrary set of rules of logic depending on whether it makes your country look good or not?


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## diddye (Feb 22, 2004)

this will be my last post here regarding anything that may be inflamatory....but booing? c'mon now. you could come up w/ something better then that. Booing? Seriously.


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## elTwitcho (Jun 22, 2004)

There's nothing wrong with booing the national anthem after you killed Canadian soldiers in a friendly fire incident? How is that more respectful than wanting Lance Armstrong to lose (not likely because he's an American, but more likely because he kicks the sh*t out of the french athletes on a pretty consistent basis)? One is an American athlete, the other is an embodiment of a nation's identity, where's the logic?


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## diddye (Feb 22, 2004)

to be fair, why didn't you include why there were boos? You think americans booed b/c we killed them and it was the canadians fault for being there? No....the booing was a response to the canadian gov'ts accusations for the accident. I repeat-accident. Canadians are our allies and we never did it on purpose. Anyhow, i only mentioned it b/c you requested ANY reasons we despise france. You asked, i gave. Dont be mad if i actually back it up.


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## elTwitcho (Jun 22, 2004)

I'm not mad, and what accusations are you talking about? Considering that the facts of the case are that one of your pilots who was high on amphetamines dished out as normal operating procedure bombed a Canadian company on routine training missions behind friendly lines after being expressly denied permission to drop the bombs, there doesn't leave alot of room to "accuse" you of anything that isn't actually true...


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## Scrap5000 (Mar 4, 2005)

elTwitcho said:


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I never said it was right to dislike them due to officials throwing accusations of doping - I said stuff about past wars and their currect financial support of terrorist countries and how ungrateful they are for what the US did and how rude they are, even to fellow europeans. Looks like you may be the one who has a problem keeping things straight in your head...

Curious: are you French-Canadian? Or do you just love to try to argue with every single thing that's posted on this site? Damn Twitch, pick your battles...this is gonna give you a nervous Twitch if you don't have one already...


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## sadboy (Jan 6, 2005)

Scrap5000 said:


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## Mettle (Dec 29, 2003)

I had a great time and no troubles at all when I was in France last November - and I was in Paris of all cities. My French is sh!t when I speak it - but I understand a good 80-90% of it when spoken. So I knew enough that none of the people in the shops or restaraunts were talking behind my back. All the friends of my friend who I was visiting were great as well. I enjoyed Paris more than I enjoyed London I think. (Though they are very different cities in so many ways and it's hard to compare them - same with Berlin, Vienna, Belfast, Dublin and Amsterdam which I also got to see and thoroughly enjoyed.)


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## mdmedicine (Dec 20, 2004)

This thread was meant as a joke and only a joke. I regret that it has degraded into a morass of negativity and personal attacks toward the french people. I am further outraged by the assertion that the French are in some way a less than worthy adversary when it comes to their collective military history. Thus, I have decided to post a brief history of their military victories throughout history:

French Military Victories
- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War
- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."

Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you."


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## Fido (May 21, 2003)

Damn some people love derailing threads and should be punished for it.


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## mdmedicine (Dec 20, 2004)

Fido said:


> Damn some people love derailing threads and should be punished for it.
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I assume you are speaking directly at yourself. If so, please tell yourself to remove your head from your @ss.


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## mauls (Mar 25, 2004)

Judazzz said:


> Don't let this (once again) turn into a mindless country bashing contest
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Im from Nice, France. (well moved to america when i was 5)

No offense taken here! i thought it was funny


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## mdmedicine (Dec 20, 2004)

Judazzz said:


> Don't let this (once again) turn into a mindless country bashing contest
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I would like to remind all of you who continuously and consistently take every opportunity to "Bash" the United State and US citizens that we have several thousand US members here and several US sponsors. Lets try to be a little sensitive to their feelings please.


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## mauls (Mar 25, 2004)

mdmedicine said:


> mauls said:
> 
> 
> > Judazzz said:
> ...


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## mdmedicine (Dec 20, 2004)

No dude...not at all. I was just responding to the Netherworld dude with the appropriate name.


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## mauls (Mar 25, 2004)

mdmedicine said:


> No dude...not at all. I was just responding to the Netherworld dude with the appropriate name.
> [snapback]1131534[/snapback]​


ooh haha i gotcha, u just quoted my post and i was confused.


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## mdmedicine (Dec 20, 2004)

Yeah screwed up the quote...fixed with edit.


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## Scrappy (Oct 21, 2004)

Damn, Mdmedicine! You're on a roll dude. Pure comedic genius.


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