# Offensive



## baddfish (Feb 7, 2003)

Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?.

A: Not being retarded. 
__________________________________________________ 
Q: What's blue and fucks old people?

A: Hypothermia. 
__________________________________________________ 
Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?

A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her. 
__________________________________________________ 
Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time.

A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan. 
__________________________________________________ 
Q: What is the definition of 'Making Love'?

A: Something a Woman does while a guy is f*cking her. 
__________________________________________________ 
Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?

A: Gonorrhea 
__________________________________________________ 
Q: Why did God create yeast infections?

A: So Women would know once in a while what it's like to live with an irritating c*nt too. 
__________________________________________ _______ _ 
Q. Why do **** like ribbed condoms?

A. Better traction in the mud. 
__________________________________________________ 
Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Ja ckson?

A. Acne usually doesn't come on a Kid's face until He's at least 13 years old. 
__________________________________________________ 
Q. How do You turn a fox into an elephant?

A. Marry it. 
_________________________________ ________ _________ 
Q. What is the difference between a Drug Dealer and a Hooker?

A. A Hooker can wash Her crack and sell it again. 
__________________________________________________ 
Q. Why do Men pay more for car insurance?

A. Because Women don't get blow jobs while they're driving. 
__________________________________________________ 
Q. What's the difference between Mayonnaise & Semen?

A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a Girl's throat at thirty miles an hour. 
__________________________________________________ 
Q. Why do Women call it PMS?

A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken. 
__________________________________________________ 
Q. What's the height of conceit?

A. Having an orgasm and calling out Your own name. 
__________________________________________________ 
Q. What's the definition of macho?

A. Jogging home from Your own vasectomy. & nbsp;
__________________________________________________ 
Q. How can you tell if You're at a bulimic bachelor party?

A. The cake jumps out of the girl. 
__________________________________________________ 
Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?

A. Oral sex makes Your day, but, anal sex makes Your hole weak. 
__________________________________________________ 
Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?

A. You just know She's gonna swallow. 
__________________________________________________ 
Q. What's the difference between a Catholic Wife and a Jewish Wife?

A. A Catholic Wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry. 
__________________________________________________ 
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A. A Guy will actually search for a golf ball. __________________________________________________ 
Q. How do You know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?

A. Look inside Your pa nts; if You have a penis, it's not time. 
__________________________________________________ 
Q. Do you know how Red Necks practice safe sex?

A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick.


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## Puff (Feb 14, 2005)

Q: What's the most embarrassing thing a man can do?

A: Run in to a wall with an erection...and break his nose.


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## lo4life (Aug 12, 2008)

i bout pissed myself on some of those... Funny sh*t!!


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## sapir (Jun 20, 2008)

good sh*t


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## Trigga (Jul 1, 2006)

Puff said:


> Q: What's the most embarrassing thing a man can do?
> 
> A: Run in to a wall with an erection...and break his nose.


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## Nick G (Jul 15, 2007)

HILARIOUS
that etheopian one is amazing

(the fly swatter one that is)


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

Q: Whats black and blue and HATES sex ????

A. A rape victim!

Ohhhhh........


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## Puff (Feb 14, 2005)

Q: What do you call a Somalian with a pickle on its head?

A: a Quarter Pounder


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## zippa (Apr 29, 2005)

Q: Why does a hooker get a runny nose?

A: She's full.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

A: Nothing you already told her twice.


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## Boobah (Jan 25, 2005)

there are horrible and i love it


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## Guest (Jan 11, 2009)

OMG.. You guys, really???? lmao Too funny


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## Guest (Jan 11, 2009)

My turn. Not crude. I am a lady after all







but just as funny.

When do you care for a man's company? 
When he owns it.

Why do men get married? 
So they don't have to hold their stomachs in any more

What are a woman's four favourite animals? 
A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and an 
ass to pay for it all.

How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? 
His hand caught fire.

How do you get a man to do sit-ups? 
Put the remote control between his toes

Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? 
So men can remember them.

How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? 
Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it

Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? 
So they can find their way back to the house.

Why are married women heavier than single women? 
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. 
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" 
God says: "So you would love her." 
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" 
God says: "So she would love you."

and a few more.....

Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?

A: Because they are plugged into a genius.

Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?

A: They don't have time.

Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?

A: They won't stop for directions.

Q: Why did God put men on earth?

A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Q: Why don't women have men's brains?

A: Because they don't have penises to put them in.

Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?

A: They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?

A: Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock.

Q: Why do men masturbate?

A: It's sex with someone they love.

Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?

A: So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Q: Why did God make men before women?

A: You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?

A: So he can tell if he is coming or going.

Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?

A: Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.

Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?

A: What men know about women.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. Men will screw anything.

Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?

A: He eats beans for dinner.

Q: What's a man's idea of foreplay?

A: A half hour of begging.

Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused?

A: He's breathing

Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds?

A: Government bonds mature.

Q: How do you save a man from drowning?

A: Take your foot off of his head.

Q: What do men and beer bottle have in common?

A: They are both empty from the head up.

Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?

A: Who cares?

Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

A: We don't know. It's never happened.


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## FishermanCanada (Feb 12, 2007)

what do you call a white baby with wings?
an angel
what do you call a black baby with wings?
a bat


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## Rigor_mortiZ_Rhom (Dec 21, 2003)

Man jokes are waaaaack...


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## FEEFA (Nov 19, 2007)

These jokes are mean and offensive and I love them all


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## b_ack51 (Feb 11, 2003)

What's red and smells like blue paint?

red paint.

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

You can't jelly your dick into a girl's vagina.


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## Guest (Jan 11, 2009)

Whats the difference between Ohhh and Ahhhhh?

About 2 inches

How long is a hare on a rabbit?

About 30 seconds


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

Q: Whats the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead Babies ?

A: I don't have a Cadillac in my garage


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## Guest (Jan 12, 2009)

^^^^^you are some kind of twisted. lol


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## Piranha Dan (Nov 11, 2007)

Q:What did Jeffery Dahmer do when he was finished with his vegetables?

A:He threw away the wheelchairs.


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## jharrison (Dec 7, 2004)

Q: Why do brides wear white?
A: You want the dishwasher to match the rest of the appliances!


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## Devon Amazon (Apr 3, 2005)

Name something 9 out of 10 people enjoy

Gang rape!


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## irishfan 689 (Aug 11, 2004)

why do chicks have boobs?

so you have somethin to look at when you're talkin to them!


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## SERRAPYGO (Feb 4, 2003)

:laugh:

What do you call the useless skin around the vagina? The woman!


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## b_ack51 (Feb 11, 2003)

-NBKK- said:


> Q: Whats the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead Babies ?
> 
> A: I don't have a Cadillac in my garage


What's the difference between a golden delicious apple and a dead baby?

Only read if you are sick.


Spoiler



you don't cum on a golden delicious apple before taking a bite out of it.



Also, your Cadillac joke reminded me of this one...
A Cadillac filled with 4 (insert r a c e here) went over a cliff and everyone died. Why was it considered a tragedy?

A Cadillac seats 5.


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## zippa (Apr 29, 2005)

Q: What's worse than 3 dead babies in one trash can?

A: One dead baby in three trash cans.


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## Guest (Jan 12, 2009)

Whats the difference between a truck load of dead babies and a truck load of bowling balls?

You can't use a pitchfork to unload the bowling balls.


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## jharrison (Dec 7, 2004)

Q: What do you get when you put a baby in the microwave?

A: I don't know about you, but I get a fecking hard on!


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## Boobah (Jan 25, 2005)

i LOLed at the beginning of this post....but dead baby jokes really aren't funny they just make everyone go woooahhh...that's bad


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

Q:How many jews can you fit in a Corvette ?

A: 2 in the front seats and 15 in the ash tray.


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## EZmoney (May 13, 2004)

Boobah said:


> i LOLed at the beginning of this post....but dead baby jokes really aren't funny they just make everyone go woooahhh...that's bad


It is called the Offensive thread for a reason :nod: 
--------------------------------------------------------

Whats the hardest part when killing a baby?

Getting the blood off of your clown costume!


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## Trigga (Jul 1, 2006)

whats blue,plastic and flops like a fish?

A baby in a plastic bag.


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## EZmoney (May 13, 2004)

OH NOES, moar dead baby jokes








-------------------------------------------------
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?

With a blender!
-------------------------------------------------

How do you get the babies back out of the bucket?

With tortilla chips!
-------------------------------------------------

Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?

So you can see the expression on its face.


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## Liquid (Aug 24, 2004)

-NBKK- said:


> Q:How many jews can you fit in a Corvette ?
> 
> A: 2 in the front seats and 15 in the ash tray.


lol holy sh*t..


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

Liquid said:


> Q:How many jews can you fit in a Corvette ?
> 
> A: 2 in the front seats and 15 in the ash tray.


lol holy sh*t..
[/quote]

Mazel Tov!


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## CichlidAddict (Jul 1, 2005)

This white guy is driving along and he sees a car crashed in the ditch so he stops to check it out.
A while later, a cop shows up and asks the guy what happened. He says "This car full of black guys crashed."
The cop asks "Where are they?"
Guy: "I buried them."
Cop: "You buried them? Are you sure they were dead?"
Guy: "Well, a couple of them said they weren't, but you know what damn liars they are."


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## zippa (Apr 29, 2005)

Q: What's the difference between a gay guy and a refrigerator?

A: The refrigerator don't fart when you pull the meat out.


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## scent troll (Apr 4, 2005)

Q. What do you call 10,000 black people skydiving?

A. Night


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## His Majesty (Apr 5, 2005)

how do you stop a baby from falling down a well?

stick a javelin through its head

Whats cute and taps on glass?

baby in a microwave

(warning really offensive)

What kills jews and runs along wall?

Gas pipes


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## scent troll (Apr 4, 2005)

b_ack51 said:


> What's the difference between a golden delicious apple and a dead baby?
> 
> Only read if you are sick.
> 
> ...


LMFAO







Sick dude


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## His Majesty (Apr 5, 2005)

More baby jokes....

1) Whats the definition of harsh?

Putting armbands on a babys legs

2) Whats blue and orange?

baby on bottom of swiming pool with burst armbands

Black joke...

1) I went up to my neighbour Jarome and said
"you remind me of marmite"

he goes "you mean you either hate me or love me?"

i says "nah mate, your black and you smell"

2) whats the difference between a black man and a park bench?

Park bench can support a family

What have you done wrong when your wife comes out the kitchen into the livving room and starts to scream and shout at you?

Made the chain too long

lol


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## PELIGROSO PYGO (Aug 27, 2008)

those jks at the beginning were funny but then the baby jks got nasty..


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

A salesman was driving down a old dark road in Texas when he hit and killed two black Boys crossing the road, The first black boy was hit clear out into a field while the second black boy went through the cars windshield and into the passenger seating area.

After a while a ******* cop showed up on the scene,

Cop: Whut do we got ear ?

Salesman: I hit two black boys! i didn't see them at all!, all i cold see was thier eyes and teeth at the last second! whats going to happen now ? am i in trouble ????

The cop shines his flash light on the first body in the field then slowly turns around and looks back at the one in the passenger seat.

Cop: Well dare son, I'm a gunna have ta charge dat dare N**ger over in da field with leavin da scene of an accident. And im a gunna charge dis here one with Break and enterin.......


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## Boobah (Jan 25, 2005)

PELIGROSO PYGO said:


> those jks at the beginning were funny but then the baby jks got nasty..


agreed- a offensive joke isn't a joke if it isn't funny- it's just offensive. for the record i'm not upset about dead baby jokes, i just think they're lame and don't make me lol like good ol' racist/sexist jokes


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## JoeDizzleMPLS (Nov 5, 2007)

how are black guys like sperm?

only one in a million works


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## TobiasRieper (Mar 14, 2008)

This little girl walks over to her grandmother and asks "Granny, can you show me a magic trick?" "No dear, but I think your grand father knows one." So the little girl walks over to her grandpa and asks "Grandpa, granny says you know some magic tricks, could you show me one?" The grand father looks at her, "Sure, just hop on my lap!" So the little girl jumps on his lap. "Now, can you feel a finger poking up your ass?" asks the grandpa, "Yeah" replies the girl "Well look, no hands!"

__________________________________________________________

One day this girl goes to her father, "Dad, I really want to see that movie that just came out, can I please go watch it." The dad replies, "Only if you suck my dick." the girl refuses but says, "please dad, I really really really want to go to the movies." The dad says again, "Only if you suck my dick, then Ill take you." Eventually the girl gives in and sucks his chop. As soon as she does, she leaps back and goes "Eewwww, it tastes like sh*t!", so the dad says, "Yeah, your brother wanted to go to the movies too."


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## JAC (Jan 19, 2004)

Q: What's the hardest part of a vegetable?

A: The wheelchair

Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?

A: A pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.


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## b_ack51 (Feb 11, 2003)

Ocellatus2000 said:


> What's the difference between a golden delicious apple and a dead baby?
> 
> Only read if you are sick.
> 
> ...


LMFAO







Sick dude
[/quote]

I told you it was sick. My roommate told me it and its probably the worst dead baby joke I know.

_______________________________________________________

A guy goes to the circus where that is visiting in town. He goes into the tent and sees a clown making balloon animals.
The clown makes a giraffe balloon animal and asks the kids in the crowd "what animal is this?" and the kids yell "THATS A GIRAFFE!"
The clown then makes a tiger balloon animal and asks the kids in the crowd "what animal is this?" and the kids yell "THATS A TIGER!"
Then the clown makes a lion ballon animal and asks the kids in the crowd "What animal is this?" and the guy yells "THAT'S AN ASS!"
The clown yells "NO YOU'RE AN ASS!"
The guy just stands there not knowing what to do or say.
Then the whole crowd laughs at the guy, he runs out of the circus embarassed by this stupid clown.
After he leave he decides he has to get back at this clown so the next time the circus is in town, he'll make fun of the clown and everyone in the crowd will laugh at the clown instead of laughing at him.
So for the next year he applies to college english classes, reads dictonaries, goes to the library and checks out every book he can. After a year and many classes, books, dictionaries later, the guy feels he's ready for the clown. 
The next year the circus is back in town. The guy decides to go to the circus and enters the tent. He sees the same clown making balloon animals for the kids. 
The clown makes a giraffe balloon animal and asks the kids in the crowd "what animal is this?" and the kids yell "THATS A GIRAFFE!"
The clown then makes a tiger balloon animal and asks the kids in the crowd "what animal is this?" and the kids yell "THATS A TIGER!"
Then the clown makes a lion ballon animal and asks the kids in the crowd "What animal is this?" and the guy yells "THAT'S AN ASS!"
The clown yells "NO YOU'RE AN ASS!"
*"f*ck YOU CLOWN!"*


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## jmax611 (Aug 6, 2006)

how do they expect one black guy to run the white house when 10 cant run white castle?


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## mao10 (Nov 25, 2008)

Q. why doesnt mexico have an olympic team?

A. Because everyone that can run, jump, or swim is already in the U.S.

Q: What have women and condoms got in common?

A: If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle?

A. A dead poodle with an 18 inch asshole

Q. How do you starve a black man?

A. hide his food stamps in his work boots

Q. Why do black people call white people *******?

A. Because it's the last ound they hear before they get hit

Q. Why don't they teach drivers ed and sex ed on the same day in the middle east?

A. Because the camels would get too tired.


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

jmax611 said:


> how do they expect one black guy to run the white house when 10 cant run white castle?










some one get Jmax a trophy


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## Liquid (Aug 24, 2004)

-NBKK- said:


> how do they expect one black guy to run the white house when 10 cant run white castle?










some one get Jmax a trophy








[/quote]

idk







I think you both get trophy's on this one, I told the jew one to my pops, the most racist man on this planet, even he said holy sh*t


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

Haha that's awesome liquid. I have a few more, they aren't as good though,

Q: Why do Jews not eat Pigs ?

A: They don't believe in cannibalism !

Q Why do Jews have huge noses ?

A: Because air is free.


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## ICEE (Feb 3, 2007)

buzzz said:


> Q:How many jews can you fit in a Corvette ?
> 
> A: 2 in the front seats and 15 in the ash tray.


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## Boobah (Jan 25, 2005)

Liquid said:


> how do they expect one black guy to run the white house when 10 cant run white castle?










some one get Jmax a trophy








[/quote]

idk :laugh: I think you both get trophy's on this one, I told the jew one to my pops, the most racist man on this planet, even he said holy sh*t :laugh:
[/quote]

aren't you from the north? i bet i know some people that even your pops would be uncomfortable to be around lol


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

What is this ????

Fee fo fo ive fee fee fo ?

A black guys phone number!


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## Liquid (Aug 24, 2004)

Boobah said:


> how do they expect one black guy to run the white house when 10 cant run white castle?










some one get Jmax a trophy








[/quote]

idk :laugh: I think you both get trophy's on this one, I told the jew one to my pops, the most racist man on this planet, even he said holy sh*t :laugh:
[/quote]

aren't you from the north? i bet i know some people that even your pops would be uncomfortable to be around lol
[/quote]

Oh he's perfectly comfortable around everyone, its everyone else including me that tends to get uncomfortable around him







. Very blunt and rough, old school, doesn't have anything nice to say about anyone out side of his little town in italy, doesn't mean he doesn't like anyone outside of italy either lol very complicated man, he married a puerto rican for christs sake lol. To this day he tells my mother she seduced him with some kind of puerto rican voodoo lol. My grandfather on the other hand was the fuggin devil himself, good heart tho and I love him to death he just didn't give a sh*t lol.


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## Liquid (Aug 24, 2004)

I got 3 brothers and 2 sisters, 3 are married to jews, 2 to puerto ricans, I'm married to a half italian half puerto rican, high school sweet heart. I got about 2 dozen cousins ranging from waps, *****, *****, micks you name it. Nephews and nieces I don't even know wtf they are anymore. Half of them or cops the other half are criminals. Not varied by race either I got both waps and ***** that are cops and both in the same that are criminals, get togethers are a blast, we're tight knit and my wifes parents are scared to death of my family, over ten years and we still can't break them in


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## scent troll (Apr 4, 2005)

What do you call a chopped up baby placed in 20 different garbage cans?

pwnd

/silence


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## EZmoney (May 13, 2004)

What does an Italian car with a flat tire sound like?

*** *** ***


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

Q: Why do Pedophiles love Halloween ???

A: Because its Free Delivery!


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## [email protected]° (Jun 16, 2004)




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## ICEE (Feb 3, 2007)

-NBKK- said:


> Q: Why do Pedophiles love Halloween ???
> 
> A: Because its Free Delivery!


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## ChilDawg (Apr 30, 2006)

-NBKK- said:


> Q:How many jews can you fit in a Corvette ?
> 
> A: 2 in the front seats and 15 in the ash tray.


Usually that joke's used to take not-so-veiled shots at Nazi Germany by putting them in some sort of Volkswagen...


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

I see what your saying.


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## RedneckR0nin (Nov 5, 2008)

What do hutterites do for Halloween??
Pumpkin

What a shitty thing bout screwing childern?
Getting the blood outta the clown suit

Another thing bad about screwing kids?
Whatta do with all those little shoes??

How do you make a 8yr girl scream twice??
f*ck her and wipe the blood off on her Teddy bear

How was copper wire invented??
Two jews fighting over a penny

Guy goes into a doctors office and after waiting around for a bit the nurse shows him to the doctors office,after a couple minutes the dr walks in and asks what he can do for the man to which he replies"I am here to get a prescription for my daughter for birth control pills"
"I see"dr replies"How old is your daughter"
the man says "she is fourteen"
"Oh I see and is she sexually active"asked the dr
to which the man replied"Nah she just lays there like her mother"


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## b_ack51 (Feb 11, 2003)

What do spinach and anal sex have in common?

If you're forced to like them as a kid, you probably won't like them as an adult.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Why do women watch porn movies all the way through?

Because they think there's going to be a wedding at the end!

----------------------------------------------------------------

What does every battered woman have in common?

She wouldn't f*cking listen.

---------------------------------------------------------------

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds?

There are twenty of them.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

What's the best thing about taking a shower with a twelve-year old boy?

Slick his hair back and he looks like he's 8.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

What's the best thing about taking a shower with an eight-year old girl?

Turn her around and she looks like an eight-year old boy.


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

A man walks into a church confessional stand and says to the priest, "Bless me, father, for I have sinned. I had sex with seven different women last night."

The priest is silent for a moment, then says, "Go home and cut seven lemons in half. Squeeze the juice into a glass and drink it down in one gulp."

"And I'll be forgiven?" asks the man.

"No," replies the priest, "but it will wipe that f*cking smirk off your face."


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## Scrappy (Oct 21, 2004)

A blonde drops off a dress at the drycleaners. On her way out the clerk says "Come again" to which the blonde replies "No, this time it's toothpaste."


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## Liquid (Aug 24, 2004)

inspired by the movie W.









How do you out Texas, Texas?

......outsmart your toilet paper.








Every time I wipe my ass from now on I'm gonna shout "I just out Texas'd Texas"


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## benJii (Feb 17, 2005)

How are dead baby jokes funny? I'm not offended, as I'm not a dead baby, but I really have to question anybody who finds that funny.


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## Wide_Eyed_Wanderer (Aug 22, 2006)

What went through the head of mr.jones as he was on the 90th floor of the WTC?

the 91st floor!

Why would Steve Irwin still be alive if he wore sunscreen?

its been known to keep out harmful rays!


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## Liquid (Aug 24, 2004)

E-THUG said:


> *What went through the head of mr.jones as he was on the 90th floor of the WTC?
> 
> the 91st floor!
> *
> ...


 Thats fucked up :laugh:


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

E-THUG said:


> *What went through the head of mr.jones as he was on the 90th floor of the WTC?
> 
> the 91st floor!*
> 
> ...


Q: What did the hotdog vendor say under the WTC before they got hit ?

A: Alright, who ordered the two jumbos ?


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## Trigga (Jul 1, 2006)

how do you get a black guy down from a tree?

cut the noose


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## sick fish man (Mar 21, 2006)

wow, those WTC jokes were horrible. i'm not reading this thread anymore!


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## gvrayman (May 12, 2006)

Why don't black people get attacked by sharks?

The sharks think they're pieces of whale sh*t.


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

sick fish man said:


> Why don't black people get attacked by sharks?
> 
> The sharks think they're pieces of whale sh*t.










hahaha so good !


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

Q: Whats the difference between a white drug dealer and a black drug dealer?

A: The white one is a pharmacist and the black one is a Crack head.


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

Q: What's the difference between a N*gger and a snow tire?

A: A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.

Q: What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?

A: N*ggers.

Q: Why did so many Brown soldiers get killed in the Vietnam war ?

A: Every time someone yelled "Get down!" they would jump up and start dancing.

Q: Why do N*ggers cry during sex?

A: The Mace.

Q: What do you call a black guy going down a water slide ?

A: Sewage

Q: Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years?

A: Because one of them lost a quarter.

Q: How was copper wire invented?

A: Two Jews fighting over a penny.

Q: What do you call a white *** in a wheelchair?

A: Roll AIDS.

Q: How do you blind a China man ?

A: Put a windshield in front of him.

Q: How do you blindfold a Japanese man ?

A: With dental floss.


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## Piranha Dan (Nov 11, 2007)

Startling Government footage linking Al Quida to the crash of flight 1545. Warning, the below picture may shock and awe you.

View attachment 177362


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## Wide_Eyed_Wanderer (Aug 22, 2006)

What was the last thing that went through the minds of the WTC jumpers?

Their ankles!


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

Q: Why is Jesus a bad hockey player?

A: He keeps on getting nailed into the boards!

Q: Whats the difference between a priest and a pimple?

A: The pimple waits until your 13 to come on your face!

Q: What's the difference between real Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

A: It only takes one nail to hang up the picture of Jesus.

A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. As he was walking past he bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, he then asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk answers, "Well sure i am."

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus? "The drunk replies, "Nope not yet."

The preacher shocked at the answer dunks him into the water again for a little longer. 
He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus my brother?" The drunk again answers, "Nope I haven't found Jesus."
By this time the preacher is getting frustrated and dunks the drunk in the water again for 30 seconds. After the 30 seconds The preacher pulls him out and asks the drunk, "For the love of God have you found Jesus?" The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher,

"Are you sure this is where he fell in?"


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

A little boy asked his mother, Mummy, why is your hair brown and mine is blond ?
His mother replied, Don't even ask me that..... when I remember back to that party...... you are lucky that you don't bark.
---

A Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavors.
Husband: Darling, I'm going to turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavor.

As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says: Gorgonzola!

Husband: Wait.....it's not on yet........
---

A man and his wife go to their weekend getaway in the mountains where the husband likes to fish and the wife likes to read
the husband came home early one day from fishing and went to bed

the wife decided now would be her chance to go out on the boat and read

so she did

she didn't know the lake very well so she just layed anchor anywhere and began to read

along came a officer and told her "what are you doing?"

"reading" said the woman

"this is a restricted fishing area"

"but i'm not fishing"

"that may be true but you have all of the equipment so i will have to take you in"

"if you do that i will charge you with rape" the woman says

"but i didn' touch you"

"this may be true but you have all of the right equipment"


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## alan (Mar 11, 2004)

Q. whats blue and dont fit.....................

A. a dead epilectic

A boy shagging his sister says "your a better f**k than mum". She replies "thats what dad said"


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

alan said:


> Q. whats blue and dont fit.....................
> 
> A. a dead epilectic
> 
> ...


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

Well its been a while and i have been saving up. So here we Go.....

Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A: A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

Q: What's the difference between a n*gger and a snow tire?
A: A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.

Q: Why don't sharks eat n*ggers?
A: They think they are floating whale sh*t.

Q: What do you call a n*gger in a tree with a briefcase?
A: Branch manager.

Q: How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek?
A: They don't work in the future either.

Q: Why do n*ggers cry during sex?
A: The Mace.

Q: What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger?
A: Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.

Q: Why do n*ggers stink?
A: So blind people can hate them too.

A n*gger and a **** jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first?

The ****, because the n*gger had to stop on the way down and spray paint "motherf**ker" on the wall.

You hear about the new car made in Israel?
Not only can it stop on a dime, it will go back and pick it up.

Q: What do you call an Ethiopian with a pickle on his head?
A: A quarter-pounder.

Q: What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
A: Father's Day.


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## Death in #'s (Apr 29, 2003)

Q How do u make a little girl cry twice?

A After ur done wipe off ur bloody junk on her teddybear

Very bad joke i heard once


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## Sheppard (Jul 8, 2004)

Devon Amazon said:


> Name something 9 out of 10 people enjoy
> 
> Gang rape!


This one is a beauty


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## Trigga (Jul 1, 2006)

So there's a black fam with nine kids all named Jamal... How do you know which is which?

Their last names


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## piranhasrule (May 31, 2004)

I'v just failed my driving test for getting one little thing wrong. The instructor said 'Imagine that a school child has just stepped into the road in front of your car. Show me what you would do'.......

......So I started wanking


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## Nick G (Jul 15, 2007)

piranhasrule said:


> I'v just failed my driving test for getting one little thing wrong. The instructor said 'Imagine that a school child has just stepped into the road in front of your car. Show me what you would do'.......
> 
> ......*So I started wanking*


can you translate this to american english for us?
wanking in new jersey means jerkin it, and im going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you arent into childeren ..... sexually.


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## piranhasrule (May 31, 2004)

Thats exactly how it was meant. I wasn't being serious though, afterall this is an offensive jokes thread. I didn't actually fail my test for wanking over kids! This would probably be an inappropriate place to admit it aswell :laugh:


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## Nick G (Jul 15, 2007)

oh ok.
:rock:


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## -NBKK- (Jun 22, 2007)

Q:What do you throw to A drowning Arab ?

A: His wife and kids.


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## CLUSTER ONE (Aug 2, 2006)

Q: Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza?

A: A pizza can feed a family of four

Q: Four gay guys walk into a bar. There is only one stool left so what do they do?

A: Flip it upside down.


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## Wide_Eyed_Wanderer (Aug 22, 2006)

What does WTC stand for?

What Trade Centre?


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## the_w8 (Jul 28, 2003)

yea there are some bad ones on here. although I do have one pretty bad. one that some of you may getta chuckle out of. (this jokes horrible)

Q: How long does it take a black lady to take a poop?

A: 9 months.


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