# Public bathroom phobia



## 521 1N5 (Apr 25, 2003)

I hate going to the bathroom in public. especially to the toilet. I've never liked doing it, it just really grosses me out, if it's an emergency I will go to the toilet and lay a massive amount of toilet paper on the seat then wait until nobody is in there to handle my business.

Public restrooms (even at my work) just make me sick thinking about them, and when you do go, after you wash your hands, you grab on to the handle of the door to open it. 
so I use a paper towel when I exit.

does anyone feel the same way?


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## JeFFLo (Aug 29, 2003)

yea same here. the bathrooms at my school is really gross. dumbass people think its funny to sh*t in the urinal.


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## MR HARLEY (Aug 12, 2003)

yea I feel the same way ...I can only want to do that in my own house...
yo chunks you ready for the video ...I got it


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## Atlanta Braves Baby! (Mar 12, 2003)

Ya i use a paper towel to open the door too. Nasty stuff!


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## wrathofgeo (Aug 23, 2003)

JeFFLo said:


> yea same here. the bathrooms at my school is really gross. dumbass people think its funny to sh*t in the urinal.










lmfao!


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## Ms_Nattereri (Jan 11, 2003)

You know whats gross...girls bathrooms in high school. I wont get into detail because Im sure you can get the hint of how bad it gets.


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## Innes (Jan 13, 2003)

521 1N5 said:


> I hate going to the bathroom in public. especially to the toilet. I've never liked doing it, it just really grosses me out, if it's an emergency I will go to the toilet and lay a massive amount of toilet paper on the seat then wait until nobody is in there to handle my business.
> 
> Public restrooms (even at my work) just make me sick thinking about them, and when you do go, after you wash your hands, you grab on to the handle of the door to open it.
> so I use a paper towel when I exit.
> ...


 I totally agree, apart from calling a toilet a bathroom as a bathroom has a bath in it and a public toilet doesn't.

I even dont like going in friends/relatives houses


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## hungryboi (Jun 6, 2003)

I seriously doubt girls bathrooms are even as close to bad as boys. There is poopoo on teh floor of boys bathroom sometimes. its sick


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## reservoirdog51 (Aug 18, 2003)

JeFFLo said:


> yea same here. the bathrooms at my school is really gross. dumbass people think its funny to sh*t in the urinal.


 WTF


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## JeFFLo (Aug 29, 2003)

what pisses me off the most is if someone takes a sh*t they should at least flush it.


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## Ms_Nattereri (Jan 11, 2003)

hungryboi said:


> I seriously doubt girls bathrooms are even as close to bad as boys. There is poopoo on teh floor of boys bathroom sometimes. its sick


 We might not have sh*t on the floor...but its replaced with blood...







Told you, you didnt want me to go into details!


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## MR HARLEY (Aug 12, 2003)

this is a very gross topic..............


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## JeFFLo (Aug 29, 2003)

Ms_Nattereri said:


> hungryboi said:
> 
> 
> > I seriously doubt girls bathrooms are even as close to bad as boys. There is poopoo on teh floor of boys bathroom sometimes. its sick
> ...


 god thats nasty!


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## 521 1N5 (Apr 25, 2003)

Ms_Nattereri said:


> We might not have sh*t on the floor...but its replaced with blood...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 blahhhhhhh

puke, that is f*cking sick.


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## Innes (Jan 13, 2003)

I also hate walking into a toilet and smelling someone had or is having a sh*t


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## MR HARLEY (Aug 12, 2003)

Ms_Nattereri said:


> hungryboi said:
> 
> 
> > I seriously doubt girls bathrooms are even as close to bad as boys. There is poopoo on teh floor of boys bathroom sometimes. its sick
> ...


 Thanks miss NAT....I just threw up....


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## KingJeff (Jul 22, 2003)

JeFFLo said:


> what pisses me off the most is if someone takes a sh*t they should at least flush it.


 yeah, well sometimes when i take a big long banana crap i like to leave it there to show it off. yeah im immature. sometimes my dumb friends piss on the floor right next to my feet. one time they got my leg!!!!


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## 14_blast (Oct 6, 2003)

> KingJeff Posted on Nov 12 2003, 04:28 PM
> QUOTE (JeFFLo @ Nov 12 2003, 04:17 PM)
> what pisses me off the most is if someone takes a sh*t they should at least flush it.
> 
> yeah, well sometimes when i take a big long banana crap i like to leave it there to show it off. yeah im immature. sometimes my dumb friends piss on the floor right next to my feet. one time they got my leg!!!!












I was immature also, I used to wet paper towels and throw them at my friends while they were defecating. Here they are getting soaked and they don't know who's harrassing them.

I also flooded one of the toilets, and my friends were in the other stalls, the freakin water over flowed from the toilet and it got on their shoes....























Ooops, I'm sorry, this is a serious topic.


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## KingJeff (Jul 22, 2003)

my dumb friend still does that and hes 23!!! he cups water with his hands and pours it on me while im pissing. a few years ago when id take a dump, my bro would get a towel, wet and yell something like, "shaquille o neal!!!" and dunk it over the door while im crapping!!!!!!


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## Kain (Mar 13, 2003)

> yeah, well sometimes when i take a big long banana crap i like to leave it there to show it off. yeah im immature. sometimes my dumb friends piss on the floor right next to my feet. one time they got my leg!!!!































Sorry bro I just cant resist. That was funny sh*t. The funniest is turning off the lights in the bathroom when someone is in the stalls taking a fat sh*t. They shouldnt place light switches in public bathrooms where pranksters can reach them lol. But when it comes to gross factor, one time at my high school, some nasty mofo took a sh*t and smeared it all on the floor of the bathroom.....He made sure he didnt miss a spot either...


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## KingJeff (Jul 22, 2003)

hahahahh thats hilarious!!! this topic is hilarious!! i also put hella tp in when i take a crap so that my crap isnt in the water which makes it stink more. do u guys laugh when u hear another guy rip a loud fart?


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## 14_blast (Oct 6, 2003)




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## Kain (Mar 13, 2003)

> do u guys laugh when u hear another guy rip a loud fart?


...no I run the f*ck outta there as soon as possible.....


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## Ms_Nattereri (Jan 11, 2003)

JeFFLo said:


> Ms_Nattereri said:
> 
> 
> > hungryboi said:
> ...


 You dont think I dont know that!









Again my point proven that girls bathrooms in high school were and still are disgusting.


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## JeFFLo (Aug 29, 2003)

looked clean when i was in there.


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## Ms_Nattereri (Jan 11, 2003)

KingJeff said:


> yeah, well sometimes when i take a big long banana crap i like to leave it there to show it off. yeah im immature. sometimes my dumb friends piss on the floor right next to my feet. one time they got my leg!!!!


 Whats there to show off about a crap you took. Just means you were full of sh*t...literally. Why would your friends piss on the floor?! Do they feel like they need to mark their territory?! Ugh you guys are sickening...







I think the intellect with this thread has croaked.


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## wrathofgeo (Aug 23, 2003)

lmfao! this shits funny as hell!


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## Kain (Mar 13, 2003)

stop bashing us guys karen!


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## 14_blast (Oct 6, 2003)

The best scene in Detroit Rock City was the girls bathroom scene.


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## crazyklown89 (Aug 28, 2003)

LOL!!!!!!

Oh my God I love this topic!!









for senior prank this kid and his friends put laxatives in all the teachers coffee then crazy glued the bathroom door locks.......man the teachers were ripping ass when they were handing out tests and stuff..


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## Black-Phoenix (Oct 21, 2003)

man when I have to take a sh*t god forbit at a ball game or worse a concert and there is piss, sh*t....ect on the toilet.....I am gust about reaby to kill that son of a bitch......If I knew who did it I would shurely try to beat there ass down.....That is one of, if not the most ignorant and disrecpectfull thing you could do in a public place......kill them...kill them all I tell ya........


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## JeFFLo (Aug 29, 2003)

lmao


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## JeFFLo (Aug 29, 2003)

super glue the locks hahah gotta try that


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## Black-Phoenix (Oct 21, 2003)

"for senior prank this kid and his friends put laxatives in all the teachers coffee then crazy glued the bathroom door locks.......man the teachers were ripping ass when they were handing out tests and stuff.. "

That was hilariouse till they glude the locks.......that too should be punisable by death.......or a good head stomp'in


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## tinyteeth (Mar 12, 2003)

i hate em too, i have to use them often at the airports and warehouses. its nasty here, the employees just piss on the floor basically. i hate touching the flush, doors, towel dispenser and all that.


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## Ms_Nattereri (Jan 11, 2003)

Just goes to show you how pathetic humanity can be.


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## Winkyee (Feb 17, 2003)

This might come in handy .....

How To sh*t at Work

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK sh*t is inevitable. For those who hate shitting at work, following is the 2001 Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.

ESCAPEE. Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE). Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH. Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME. Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER. Definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN). Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS. Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR: Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH. Definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE. Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON. Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET. Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE TED. Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

FLY BY. Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.


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## KingJeff (Jul 22, 2003)

i do the camo cough, haha


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## JeFFLo (Aug 29, 2003)




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## crazyklown89 (Aug 28, 2003)

agreed


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## jayrod (Oct 22, 2003)

A friend of mine told me that he witnessed in Vietname that people just sh*t on the sidewalk, in the street, or in your yard. A public restroom is a luxury item... if you can find one...


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## crazyklown89 (Aug 28, 2003)

.....................................huh.

Wow..... that sucks.


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## Kory (Jun 5, 2003)

when i used to live in the dorms it was the worst bathrooms. People would come in drunk every night and just piss all over. In the sinks, on the floor, in the garbage cans. Then we someone would take a sh*t they would wipe there ass and stick it to the wall instead of droping it in the toilet. I felt so sorry for the janitor on those floors.


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## Kory (Jun 5, 2003)

winkyee said:


> This might come in handy .....
> 
> How To sh*t at Work
> 
> ...


 That is about the funniest thing I've read in a long time lol


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## Guest (Nov 13, 2003)

Someone I know used to bring a huge wrench into the men's room of a local bar. He would somehow unscrew the pipes above the urinal. When somebody flushed the urinal, water would spray all over the people at both urinals. It was too funny to see someone staggering out of the mens' room soaking wet!!

If I am about to eat, I always cover my hand with paper towels so I don't have to touch the pee-pee doorhandles.


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## perrogoma (Oct 1, 2003)

Kory said:


> when i used to live in the dorms it was the worst bathrooms. People would come in drunk every night and just piss all over. In the sinks, on the floor, in the garbage cans. Then we someone would take a sh*t they would wipe there ass and stick it to the wall instead of droping it in the toilet. I felt so sorry for the janitor on those floors.


 same thing here, i get angry so one night i made signs that said flush the f*cking toilet. there is this fat asian kid that nobody likes, he is one of those mother fuckers that doesnt flush the toilet. i think he's gotten kicked out of like 3 people's rooms so far. he came into my room one time and my p's weren't moving and he hit the tank so they would move. needless to say, just having spent nearly 400 dollars on my fish i wasn't happy at all. i did everything in my power to not hit him, and i tweaked and screamed get the f*ck out of my room you fat ass. he won't look me in the eyes anymore and i think its funny. two nights ago he got kicked out of the room next to me for being an annoying bastard.

there is also puke everywhere on saturday and friday nights.


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## RhomZilla (Feb 12, 2003)

You guys think thats bad.. what about when you really need to go sh*t and theres no doors? Best way to go is (if your on a beach) dig up your own toilet and sit on it like your enjoying the sun.. or find the nearest bush. Not a personal experience but a good word to all..


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## 521 1N5 (Apr 25, 2003)

RhomZilla said:


> dig up your own toilet and sit on it like your enjoying the sun..


 that is damn sick. RZ. Damn sick.


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## Alexraptor (Jan 30, 2003)




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## mantis (May 16, 2003)

Thanks for the input Winkyee









one of the funniest threads ever.


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## boxer (Sep 11, 2003)

ya school bathrooms are nasty. when i had to use the bathroom, i took a thick napkin and cleared of the nasty piss and put many TPs on the toilets. the bell rung and this stupid kid pulls an *Uncle Ted*. I knew I was bout to drop *Watermelons* so I put some TP in the water so it wouldn't make any noise than took the *Walk of Shame*.


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## SERRAPYGO (Feb 4, 2003)

mantis said:


> Thanks for the input Winkyee
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 That was all taken from a book. I think I have it someplace.

I just picked up a CD off ebay called "Nothing Butt farts". One hour of blistfull fart entertainment along with some real gushy shits into a toilet!


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## thoroughbred (Mar 14, 2003)

i know yall gon think im weird
i cant sh*t no where but home ill hold it all day at work ofr wherever im at till i get home to sh*t and the weirdest part is everytime i sh*t i take a shower right after everytime!!!!! i have to i just feel nasty unless i take a shower right after i sh*t so theres my weird ass toffee self lol


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## RhomZilla (Feb 12, 2003)

521 1N5 said:


> RhomZilla said:
> 
> 
> > dig up your own toilet and sit on it like your enjoying the sun..
> ...










Like any of you never dones it before.


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## Alexraptor (Jan 30, 2003)

i know a way to crap nicley







while u crap on the toilet u let your wife/gf ride on u


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## Ms_Nattereri (Jan 11, 2003)

So since you guys all have bathroom phobia and will hold it in til you get to your own bathroom...what do you guys do when you go camping out in the woods and there is no bathroom?!?? What you gonna hold it in all week or however long your gone camping?!


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## 521 1N5 (Apr 25, 2003)

RhomZilla said:


> 521 1N5 said:
> 
> 
> > RhomZilla said:
> ...


 I did sh*t in a plastic bag when I ran my import shop and the toilet stopped working. Then thru it in the dumpster, but at least I knew someone else wasn't shitting in it before me.


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## Black-Phoenix (Oct 21, 2003)

camp poopins no problem for me.....just it on a fallen log knee hight and walla...instant toilet!


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## MR HARLEY (Aug 12, 2003)

Ms_Nattereri said:


> So since you guys all have bathroom phobia and will hold it in til you get to your own bathroom...what do you guys do when you go camping out in the woods and there is no bathroom?!?? What you gonna hold it in all week or however long your gone camping?!


 Find a nice bush to go behind and that you could take your time


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## 521 1N5 (Apr 25, 2003)

MR HARLEY said:


> Find a nice bush to go behind and that you could take your time


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## RhomZilla (Feb 12, 2003)

521 1N5 said:


> MR HARLEY said:
> 
> 
> > Find a nice bush to go behind and that you could take your time
> ...


 Dont forget the variety of leaves you can use to wipe yourself. I recommend alo leaves. They're really comfortable and leaves your skin smoothe!!


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## MR HARLEY (Aug 12, 2003)

RhomZilla said:


> 521 1N5 said:
> 
> 
> > MR HARLEY said:
> ...


 Mountain charmin....


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## thoroughbred (Mar 14, 2003)

Ms_Nattereri said:


> So since you guys all have bathroom phobia and will hold it in til you get to your own bathroom...what do you guys do when you go camping out in the woods and there is no bathroom?!?? What you gonna hold it in all week or however long your gone camping?!


 black folks dont camp lol


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## MR HARLEY (Aug 12, 2003)

thoroughbred said:


> Ms_Nattereri said:
> 
> 
> > So since you guys all have bathroom phobia and will hold it in til you get to your own bathroom...what do you guys do when you go camping out in the woods and there is no bathroom?!?? What you gonna hold it in all week or however long your gone camping?!
> ...


 sure they dooo.....







..why dont you camp PIMP ,
we should plan a trip...to the great outdoors.....


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## ttldnial (May 14, 2003)

Dont worry about the seat, a good crab can jump ten feet.









-ttldnial


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## Ms_Nattereri (Jan 11, 2003)

thoroughbred said:


> Ms_Nattereri said:
> 
> 
> > So since you guys all have bathroom phobia and will hold it in til you get to your own bathroom...what do you guys do when you go camping out in the woods and there is no bathroom?!?? What you gonna hold it in all week or however long your gone camping?!
> ...


 Well you can be the first


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## TonyTurbo29 (Aug 11, 2003)

You guys crack me up.

Granted, I wont go and crap in a filthy place, but if the restroom is clean and what not, I have no problems. Hell, I walk in, wipe the seat to make sure there are no surprises and go to work. Sometime depending on the mood I will make some noised to go with it if I know im not alone. The occasional "Ahhhh... Yeah... That was a good one" never hurt anyone. And screw the fart muffling, let em fly. Be proud of them.... they come from the soul. In fact, encourage them...

Pooping is FUN!


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## Skeelo (Sep 23, 2003)

TonyTurbo29 said:


> You guys crack me up.
> 
> Granted, I wont go and crap in a filthy place, but if the restroom is clean and what not, I have no problems. Hell, I walk in, wipe the seat to make sure there are no surprises and go to work. Sometime depending on the mood I will make some noised to go with it if I know im not alone. The occasional "Ahhhh... Yeah... That was a good one" never hurt anyone. And screw the fart muffling, let em fly. Be proud of them.... they come from the soul. In fact, encourage them...
> 
> Pooping is FUN!


 Ladies and Gentlemen...I give you...

PFury's very own OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER!!


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## traumatic (Jan 29, 2003)

HA HA HA TONYTURBO, your funny. I peed my pants last time I was at the video store.


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