# Anger...



## Blacksheep (Dec 11, 2003)

Hello all! I have been reading with much interest the thread on Martial Arts. There has been alot of good discussion that has come up, but to not derail that thread I started this one.

I am going to be teaching on Anger at the beginning of February (to my youth group) and I would love to use this forum as one of my examples. Could you all answer a couple of questions for me to use as an example.

1. Answer the poll honestly.

2. Please give me your age. I want to make a baseline of the ages of those that answered the poll. PLEASE...if you answered the poll, please give me your age.

3. When do you think that fighting is o.k. Be honest!

I will post the results of what I get from this. This will be a wonderful example for my lesson.

I really appreciate it. If a moderator feels that they do not want this on here, please feel free to lock it or delete it. I won't be offended. I just thought this would be a good place to get the information.

Thanks again!

Jeffrey


----------



## Blacksheep (Dec 11, 2003)

I voted and I am 34 years old.

I feel that fighting is o.k. if your life is in danger or the life of someone else.

I forgot to put in NEVER as one of the options in the poll. So if you are one of those rare people that never have a problem with your anger, say so in your reply and I will count that in this poll (unless a moderator can add it it the actual poll?!?)

Thanks again guys!

Jeffrey

Ghost410 - Thanks for the awesome idea! I appreciate it!


----------



## EMJAY (Feb 27, 2003)

17 years old-once or twice a month

when i was about 15 or so i'd be angry very often, and throw things arond. your know what i mean. that was at least more than once a week.


----------



## Xenon (Nov 15, 2002)

1-2 a week. 24. "Letting anger get the best of you" is a phrase that is open to some interpretation however. I feel you dont have to fight to let the anger get the best of you....I think frustration is a huge factor in "anger" and I feel that if i get frustrated I am letting anger get the best of me


----------



## anstey (Oct 9, 2003)

1-2 a week, I'm 21..
I also think fighting is ok when you or someone elses life is in danger, but not for the people who fight because they are imature...
Ryan


----------



## Ms_Nattereri (Jan 11, 2003)

PastorJeff said:


> I voted and I am 34 years old.
> 
> I feel that fighting is o.k. if your life is in danger or the life of someone else.
> 
> ...


Added to poll!

Im 19 years old.



Xenon said:


> I think frustration is a huge factor in "anger"


If this is true, then it happens everytime I go to work and have to deal with customers. My job requires a lot of patience. However, Ive learned to just hold it in and let it go.

But as for getting angry in itself, Id say maybe once-twice a month, if even that.

The word "Frustration" describes me more than the word "anger," though.

As for fighting, its only okay when your or a loved one is in danger.


----------



## Blacksheep (Dec 11, 2003)

THIS IS GREAT! This is exactly what I was hoping for. The definition can be changed by the individual that is doing the defining (hope that makes sense)

One of the reasons that I am doing this is to show the teens how the "real world" views "anger". I don't want to say anymore for fear of tainting what people feel about the word "anger"

Thanks guys! This is going to be awesome. Xenon and the mods, thanks for allowing this thread. I will show you how this all fits in when the poll is done. It should be pretty cool (I hope...







)

Jeffrey


----------



## Blacksheep (Dec 11, 2003)

Ms_Nattereri said:


> Added to poll!


Thanks so much for adding "Never" in the poll! Good statements in your post too!

Jeffrey


----------



## Judazzz (Jan 13, 2003)

How do you define anger?
Getting pissed off because your computer crapped out on you once again, wanting to break stuff? Or getting in a fight easily? Or just having a short fuse?

I never fought with anyone in my life - well, I did have some scuffles when I was a kid, but never that seriously blood or injuries were involved - the last time I had an 'innocent' fight like that is well over a decade ago... I never got involved in a fight because of alcohol/weed.

I would never start a fight either, just because I'm frustrated or pissed off at someone, unless that someone threatens a loved/close one.
I am somewhat short-temperred though, but I just swallow it instead of taking it out on someone else. Or just damage/destroy a small, defenseless object (like a pen or an alarm clock)









Oh, I'm 27 years old.


----------



## pcrose (Mar 9, 2003)

I work in retail as security so it can be quite frustrating atleast during the holidays but this job helps me deal with the public better and I find I don't get mad as easily anymore I shrug it off


----------



## pamonster (Jun 26, 2003)

1-2 times a year, or less, i am extremely good at self control. 21 years old


----------



## sweet lu (Oct 3, 2003)

1-2 a week because i get into fights with my brother all of the time. i never draw blood but he does. but i just shrug it off. we get into big fights a lot and since he is younger i cant fight back very much so that is why he draws blood. i did run over this kid who who called me fat *cough* hippocrit *cough* but anyways i dont think it hurt him. it was with my bike and also i got caught. but now i have a punching bag so i dont get into fights that much anymore with other kids. i think fighting is just a way to realise anger and i sometimes think that without fighting that you will comit sucide because you thiunk that everyone is making fun of you and you cant do nothing about it. but i think that it is good to take out anger on something like a pillow or a wall or a car :laugh:

but i think that anger is cause when people laugh at you when you arent doing anything funny. at least that is for me. but i tune out of things like that.but i think that it is good to express anger because if you dont then you will evently express more anger on yourself and hurt or kill yourself. but that is what i think

damn i need help :laugh:


----------



## sweet lu (Oct 3, 2003)

oh yeah i am 15


----------



## Death in #'s (Apr 29, 2003)

many times a week
i hate fighting but love to be angry








and im 25


----------



## sweet lu (Oct 3, 2003)

Death in # said:


> many times a week
> i hate fighting but love to be angry
> 
> 
> ...


 so do i


----------



## SERRAPYGO (Feb 4, 2003)

> Xenon and the mods, thanks for allowing this thread. I will show you how


why wouldn't it be allowed? It's probably one of the most intelligent threads posted this year.











> Judazzz Posted on Dec 27 2003, 04:54 PM
> How do you define anger?
> Getting pissed off because your computer crapped out on you once again, wanting to break stuff?


Jonas, watch your potty mouth. He's a pastor!









I'm 36. I voted 1-2 times per week. It was far less when I was younger. As far as punching anyone out, that would be an extreme last resort. It's quite gratifying throwing and hitting defenseless objects. NO CONSEQUENCES. 
I do need to learn to check myself on the road rage thing however.


----------



## Death in #'s (Apr 29, 2003)

sweet lu said:


> Death in # said:
> 
> 
> > many times a week
> ...










hell yeah it feels great to have such a raw emotion


----------



## Blacksheep (Dec 11, 2003)

sweet lu said:


> damn i need help :laugh:


Naw...you gave a good answer. I wanted you to know that I also put your quote in my signature. That is the most awesome statement that I have ever read. The reason I love it so much is when I read that thread I thought to myself "Hmmm....a lamprey...that is a kind of monkey or something".

Then you had the guts to ask the question. I have alot of respect for that. AND I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING...sorry I just found that to be hilarious!



> Jonas, watch your potty mouth. He's a pastor!


I don't mind...I work with teens. God knows I hear every conceivable cuss word you could think of. When I get mad...I even THINK THEM!











> I do need to learn to check myself on the road rage thing however


This is an area that I reeeeelllllly have to keep in check. When I get around stupid drivers I could start cussing and showing certain fingers that I should not be showing (alone that is







) 12 years ago, I had to go through 3 years of counseling to deal with my Anger problem. I come from a very peaceful family, I just got to be a nasty bugger with my temper. But more about that after the poll runs dry.









Judazzz - You bring up a very good point. I am going to PM you.

Thanks guys...you are giving me some great stuff to use!

Jeffrey


----------



## Judazzz (Jan 13, 2003)

Serrapygo said:


> > Judazzz Posted on Dec 27 2003, 04:54 PM
> > How do you define anger?
> > Getting pissed off because your computer crapped out on you once again, wanting to break stuff?
> 
> ...






































!!!

*_shakes fist in the air_*






















.....














!!??!!

Oops


----------



## boxer (Sep 11, 2003)

Rarely, once or twice a year or maybe even less
I'm 18 by the way.
I learned to control my anger because I know what is best for me to do and anger will definately make me look like a fool. I just have to swallow my pride... My mentality is never to throw the 1st punch. If I do get in a fight, I KICKASS =D except for when I was in 2nd grade and my sister beat the living crap out of me. only match i loss :\


----------



## Kory (Jun 5, 2003)

I'm 22 I voted once or twice a month.

I work at an IT help desk so sometimes I get people who want my help on how to do something, then I help them and they tell me I'm doing it wrong and this is how it's done. When in reality they know nothing and I am trying to show them the proper way of doing it. That gets me more frustrated than anything but if I'm having a bad day it leads to anger.

When I was younger like 16-19 I would have voted once or twice a day. I used to be a really angry person when something did'nt go my way or turn out how I wanted it to.

For the most part I think me learning to just let things go and not be so angry about them is just due to me growing up, being more mature, and having more responsibillites. Learning not to sweat the little things because at the end of the day it's just not worth it and being angry all the time just takes away from you being happy. I would much rather be happy.

However I would like to add that I still do love a good arguement. But staying calm and keeping your head allows you to think more clearly than getting angry in those situations.


----------



## sweet lu (Oct 3, 2003)

PastorJeff said:


> Naw...you gave a good answer. I wanted you to know that I also put your quote in my signature. That is the most awesome statement that I have ever read. The reason I love it so much is when I read that thread I thought to myself "Hmmm....a lamprey...that is a kind of monkey or something".
> 
> Then you had the guts to ask the question. I have alot of respect for that. AND I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING...sorry I just found that to be hilarious!


 thanks

i have it in my sig to man.

you working with teens i am sure that you have heard every cuss word inmanginable. i know at my school that the teachers even say them to


----------



## rbp3rbp3 (Sep 8, 2003)

I voted 1-2 times a month. I get mad some times and distroy things like alarm clocks, and other little stuff. 1 of the main reasons I get mad is because my brother picks on me all the time. I cant defend my self really because I am 15 and he is 19. Every once in a while I will get mad enought that I will get ruff with him and then he stops. I go to a pubic school and I see more mad people then I do happy people. there all like yeah im gonna beat that girl/guy up. Thats all i hear. I just dont see how i could live with my self being mad all the time. We only have 1 life. Ask your self for all the people who get in fights and are mad every day, do u want to live your life always wanting to fight some 1, or do u want to be mad all the time?


----------



## Xenon (Nov 15, 2002)

I forgot to add when I think its ok.

I think fighting is ok whenever you need to defend your honor.


----------



## Xenon (Nov 15, 2002)

PastorJeff said:


> There has been alot of good discussion that has come up, but to not derail that thread I started this one.


 I







you.

This reminds me of the lounge of old.


----------



## Blacksheep (Dec 11, 2003)

rbp3rbp3 said:


> I go to a pubic school and I see more mad people then I do happy people. there all like yeah im gonna beat that girl/guy up. Thats all i hear. I just dont see how i could live with my self being mad all the time. We only have 1 life. Ask your self for all the people who get in fights and are mad every day, do u want to live your life always wanting to fight some 1, or do u want to be mad all the time?


I do have to say that you said more in that one sentence that I could have said in my entire lesson.

Great words! I will definiately be quoting you on that one









Jeffrey


----------



## boxer (Sep 11, 2003)

Oh ya I think fighting is okay when it is
1. Self Defense
2. Someone disrespecting someone you care for such as family, girlfriend, friend etc
3. Extremely obnoxious person starting a fight.

My american government teacher taught me to avoid fighting because he was one of those guys who would never fight in his life and sociology has taught me to get into people's minds. fighting is just a juvenile's way of getting back at someone when you can psychologically hurt someone more


----------



## thePACK (Jan 3, 2003)

i'm 26 and i get angry everyday...damn road rage...


----------



## scarfish (Apr 5, 2003)

Maybe once a week. I am 23 years old. My anger is usually the result of an overabundance of frustration due to stupid people. I can usually deal with minor frustrations, but once something really makes me angry, it seems like five other annoying things happen right afterwards, and that is when I roar with rage. I used to be a lot worse, but I took an anger management course along with my drug rehabilitation many years ago.


----------



## pythonwill (Feb 2, 2003)

well im almost 40, and I get pissed off way too much, but I have been able to control my anger pretty good over the last 10 years. I came to the conclusion that I was gonna go to jail if something didnt change. So I put myself through 15 weeks of anger managment class. Not the court, but ME. I did it on my own. because if I didnt either my wife or my boss was gonna get hurt :laugh: .
At first I didnt think it did a damn bit of good, but then I started to notice that I wasnt punching anyone out







and back then I did it ALOT.
anyway, I still get pissed alot but I dont act on it as much,I only bitch and moan about things, I dont beat anyone up.the only time I really get upset now is when someone messes with my kids, and thats a BIG no-no, cause your gonna have a 300 lb ******* stompin your ass.
but to be honest I dont know if the classes did anything for me, I got divorced a year later and Ive been in a DAMN good mood every since


----------



## hungryboi (Jun 6, 2003)

1-2 times a month, sometimes it varies to more though. I'm always cranky when i wake up for school and i dont treat my brother too well. I rarely get out of control though.

16 years old


----------



## Guest (Dec 27, 2003)

31, I voted once or twice a mnth.

When I was younger and lived with my parents, I used to rage constantly, though.
I would yell and scream and break stuff and punch holes in walls. It's a family tradition, we all did it. Nobody actually listened to anybody there, it was all they responded to.

Now that I got out on my own I have a much cooler head. I never took on my family's communication patterns.

About the only time I lose my temper now is when I'm driving. There I yell and scream, punch the dash, and swing my car at other cars like it was Top Gun. I even jumped out of my car once and yelled in some lady's window.


----------



## Ghost410 (Aug 9, 2003)

I INSPIRED THIS!!!

Anyway, anger gets the best of me almost every day. I only take it physically 2 to 3 times a month, so thats what I voted.

Im 16 years old. I think fighting is never good, I find it OK when its a matter of disrespect, I get hit first or it will end up for the better in the long run, but then again I go against my morals sometimes because I lose my temper.


----------



## Lahot (May 20, 2003)

does getting stuck in an aisle at the mall/store with some broad talking on her cell phone with the baby stroller blocking the entire aisle and walking about behind her and going, "jesus christ bitch, get the f*ck out of the way" count?

if so I guess I let my anger get the better of me twice a day, it's a season of joy and giving, bullshit


----------



## boxer (Sep 11, 2003)

oh ya Pastor Jeffrey, if I do get angry its only by the people who are close to me. IE: my 2 sisters know how to piss me off. Other people I know are ignorant but I know how my sisters are and I expect highly of them.

For people out there, do random people make you as angry or people you are aquantainced(sp?) or people you know such as family, push you over the limit most?


----------



## losts0ul916 (Nov 19, 2003)

boxer said:


> oh ya Pastor Jeffrey, if I do get angry its only by the people who are close to me. IE: my 2 sisters know how to piss me off. Other people I know are ignorant but I know how my sisters are and I expect highly of them.
> 
> For people out there, do random people make you as angry or people you are aquantainced(sp?) or people you know such as family, push you over the limit most?


 I second that. Its always the ones you know and care about that PISS you off the most.


----------



## Kory (Jun 5, 2003)

pygocentrus notatus said:


> boxer said:
> 
> 
> > oh ya Pastor Jeffrey, if I do get angry its only by the people who are close to me. IE: my 2 sisters know how to piss me off. Other people I know are ignorant but I know how my sisters are and I expect highly of them.
> ...


 this is true they know exactally what buttons to push.


----------



## Ms_Nattereri (Jan 11, 2003)

boxer said:


> For people out there, do random people make you as angry or people you are aquantainced(sp?) or people you know such as family, push you over the limit most?


 Family and friends are the ones that get to me the most. Reason being, their opinions/views matter to me over anyone else's. Where as if it were some random Joe off the street I would just walk away and couldnt give a rats ass about him.


----------



## Blacksheep (Dec 11, 2003)

boxer said:


> For people out there, do random people make you as angry or people you are aquantainced(sp?) or people you know such as family, push you over the limit most?


 While the people that I am close to do irritate me, I get really horked of with people I don't know.

I have a saying that say to my wife all the time "Man I hate stupid people...and God put them on this earth just to irritate me"

Everyone has GREAT stuff! This is going to fit nicely in my lesson!

Jeffrey


----------



## CrocKeeper (Dec 26, 2003)

32
fighting, I see is nessecary to defend life or serious bodily injury to one's self or to another.
I also would have to say that anger getting the best of me I define as being so frustrated that I have to go and stare at one of my fish tanks, snake enclosures, etc...I am a husband and a father. I try not to let the children see me explosive, so I purposefully go somewhere to sit, cool off and think by myself before attempting to continue in those situations. Five kids ranging in age from 16 to 14 months tests the patience I can attest, but its how we learn to respond I hope that allows them a better temperment than I have... :smile:


----------



## jimbo (Feb 5, 2003)

I'm 19, I usually only lose my temper once or twice a year. Usually this is because of people harassing other people, last time was my sister, a guy was driving by the house at all hours of the night on his motorcycle, revving the hell outta the engine, waking everybody up, always following her to school, the usual stalker stuff, so I had to beat the hell out of him.


----------



## rbP NUT (Dec 2, 2003)

im 22, i fight on fridays and saturdays. it is one of the down sides to my job. il be honest i would say 50% of the time i will throw the first punch but it normally ends after that, when some one punches me first i loose it and its normally a big fight.

well thats my 2p


----------



## Ms_Nattereri (Jan 11, 2003)

rbP NUT said:


> im 22, i fight on fridays and saturdays.


And the reason for this is!??


----------



## Kory (Jun 5, 2003)

Ms_Nattereri said:


> rbP NUT said:
> 
> 
> > im 22, i fight on fridays and saturdays.
> ...


 Bouncer?


----------



## rbP NUT (Dec 2, 2003)

you got it in 1 kory


----------



## KingJeff (Jul 22, 2003)

Im 24. I get angry maybe once every few months. I have gotten extremly angy and snapped only one though. That happened on xmas day just a few days ago. My dad throws stuff in my tank without letting me know. He throws things like abalone shells, sardines, pots, etc. So i blew up and he yelled at me, so i yelled back. I got so mad i started to throw things and punched the walls. OTher then that, i dont really get mad/angry.


----------



## Kory (Jun 5, 2003)

rbP NUT said:


> you got it in 1 kory


 yeah I used to be one too got in lots of fights with drunk idiots.


----------



## rbP NUT (Dec 2, 2003)

yeah tell me about it, but the girls! the girls keep me there







lol
sorry pastor jeff not too sure how you stand on the second part to my post but i do apolagize if i cause offense being this is your thread.


----------



## Blacksheep (Dec 11, 2003)

rbP NUT said:


> yeah tell me about it, but the girls! the girls keep me there
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 Not a problem at all! It is very interesting to see how this thread is coming along. It is going to be good stuff when it comes time to put it all together!

Jeffrey


----------



## PastorAdam (Dec 16, 2003)

I have not let me anger "get the best of me" for a couple of years now. I can sort of measure my anger level, and once it reaches a certian point, I have certian people in my life that I can call up and talk to them about what is going on.

Now just because my anger has "never got the best of me", does not mean that I have not been ticked off about something, or had bitter feelings towards a situation.

Sometimes it is just easier to smile, apologize, walk away, and deal with the emotions somewhere else. This is not always easy......but always effective.

PastorJeff,

Let me know how this works out with your youth group. I am starting James in January, and we are studying "Love" in Feb.

Adam


----------



## BUBBA (Sep 4, 2003)

I get frustrated Many Times , and is hard somtimes ,
especialy when dealing with a boss that dont like you .
I try hard not to let myself get anger and lose it because that only gets you into trouble , and makes a person look unstable..


----------

