# Not trying to be racist but....



## CROSSHAIR223 (Jan 17, 2005)

How many out there actually know some racist jokes towards whities? I've looked and looked and have only heard one.

What's 10 inches and white?

NOTHING.

We all know the typical racist jokes but how many white jokes are there??? This is for humor only, so spare me your posts if your intentions are to bash.


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## itstheiceman (Oct 5, 2006)

CROSSHAIR223 said:


> How many out there actually know some racist jokes towards whities? I've looked and looked and have only heard one.
> 
> What's 10 inches and white?
> 
> ...


lmfao....i havent really heard any white jokes either...fuckin weird now that i think of it.....i bet you other race's blacks, hebrews etc... have jokes about us


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## CROSSHAIR223 (Jan 17, 2005)

I hope so!!! I want to hear it!!!


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## MONGO  (Feb 7, 2006)

what do you call a group of white people in an elevator? . . . . A box of crackers.


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## SangreRoja (Feb 18, 2006)

What do you tell a white girl with a BLACK EYE? Nothing you already told her once!!


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## MONGO  (Feb 7, 2006)

not a white one but still made me laugh

How do you know if an asian robbed your house?

your homework is done, your computer is upgraded and they're still trying to back out of the driveway.


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## SangreRoja (Feb 18, 2006)

Why do Mexicans drive with little steering wheels? Cause its easyer to drive with Handcuffs on!!!


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## MONGO  (Feb 7, 2006)

Why did the little black boy start crying when he had diarreha?

He thought he was melting


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## SangreRoja (Feb 18, 2006)

What do you call 2 black people in a sleeping bag? TWIX


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## CROSSHAIR223 (Jan 17, 2005)

WHITE JOKES guys lol that's why this is so hard lol

Start another thread for racist jokes if you like please!!!


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## Rice & Beanz (Oct 30, 2006)

What is it called when you see asians in a spa? Cup-O-noodles!!

a white guy push a car? ***********

black guy car push a car? black power

mexican guy push a car? Grand Theft auto!


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## MONGO  (Feb 7, 2006)

all the white jokes suck that i find and alot of white jokes are just black jokes changed around


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## itstheiceman (Oct 5, 2006)

LMFAO...god those are hilarious


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## SangreRoja (Feb 18, 2006)

Im Mexican and I dont give a rats ass its all in fun to me.

What do you call white people falling from a mountain? An Avalanche


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## MONGO  (Feb 7, 2006)

Sangre_Roja said:


> Im Mexican and I dont give a rats ass its all in fun to me.
> 
> What do you call white people falling from a mountain? An Avalanche


Im the same way.. im not racist i have colored T.V.


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## Rice & Beanz (Oct 30, 2006)

I dont give a sh*t either!! Im asian, who care...its all in fun and games

How long does it take for a white women to take a crap??? 
9 months

What did a white guy see when he looked at his family tree? 
A straight line!


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## Apott05 (Jul 19, 2005)

hey guys

a mexican, asian, and a black guy jump off an airplane at the exact same time, which one hits the ground first?

.....doesnt matter


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## SangreRoja (Feb 18, 2006)

Rice & Beanz said:


> I dont give a sh*t either!! Im asian, who care...its all in fun and games
> 
> How long does it take for a white women to take a crap???
> 9 months
> ...


I like the white one. And why cant Ray Charles read?


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## Rice & Beanz (Oct 30, 2006)

how did chinese learn to speak? 
they dropped a spoon and heard, ching, kong, ting, king

what is faster then a black guy with a tv? his brother with a vcr

Why are Blacks' palms white? Because they had there hands on the wall as God painted them.

How do you know when a pakistan boy becomes a man... They take the diaper off his ass and put it on his head

How was break dancing invented, When Black people were trying to steal hub-caps off of cars while they were moving

Why do mexicans refry their beans? have you ever seen a mexican do something right the first time?


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## MONGO  (Feb 7, 2006)

this one is good

Jose arrives at the Mexican border on his bike with 2 huge bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and asks: "What's in the bags?"

"Senior, It's only sand." replies Jose.

"Sand??? Well, we'll just see about that - get off the bike!"

The guard takes the bags, rips them open, empties them out and finds nothing in them...except sand. Detaining Jose overnight, the sand is analysed, but only to discover it is in fact simply sand.

Jose is released, the sand is put into new bags and placed on Jose's shoulders, and he is let across the border.

Next day, same thing happens. The guard asks: "What you got there?"

"Sand," says Jose.

A thorough examination of the bags again shows there to be nothing but sand, and subsequently Jose is allowed to ride across the border.

For a whole year this continues until one day Jose doesn't show up, and the guard discovers him in a Cantina in Mexico.

"Hey, Bud," says the guard, "I know you're smuggling something. For a year it's driven me crazy. It's all I can think about... I can't get sleep, the kids are getting neglected...heck, even the dog senses I'm beginning to lose it! Between you and me, just what are you smuggling?"

Jose sips his beer, smiles and replies: "Bicycles..."

this had me









A cracker girl came up to her dad who was sitting in a beaten up armchair. "Pa, can i borrow the truck tonight?" she asked. Her dad looked up to her and said, "Darlin', you know what you haf t'do if you wants to borra th' truck." "But Pa! Ah i have t'go now!" the cracker girl cried. Her daddy stood up and unzipped his pants. "You know perfectly well what you haf t'do. On yer knees, bitch!" The white wench complied and started sucking her dad's c*ck. After a few seconds she stopped in disgust and looked up to her dad. "Gee Pa, you dick sure tastes like sh*t!" Her dad slapped his forhead and said, "Dammit, i forgot! i already loaned the truck to yo brother just a few minutes ago!"


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## SangreRoja (Feb 18, 2006)

RockinTimbz said:


> this one is good
> 
> Jose arrives at the Mexican border on his bike with 2 huge bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and asks: "What's in the bags?"
> 
> ...


Can I use that one? And the answer is cause he's Black.


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## MONGO  (Feb 7, 2006)

There is a little white boy with an all white family playing outside in the mud. 
He rolls around and realizes he is covered in mud.He goes inside and tells his mom "Look mom I'm black." She says come here. He went and she whooped him. 
She said go tell your dad what you did. 
He went to his dad and said "Look dad i'm black." He said come here and he started to whoop him. Go to your grandma and tell her what you did. The grandma did the same thing. He went back to his mom and she asked "What have you learned today?" The boy said "I've been black for five minutes and I already hate you white basterds!!!"



Sangre_Roja said:


> Can I use that one? And the answer is cause he's Black.


?


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## SangreRoja (Feb 18, 2006)

What did the Mexican kid get for his Birthday? Your Bike! Why do Mexicans Drive Lowriders? Cause its easyer to pick fruit.


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## MONGO  (Feb 7, 2006)

Why did Hitler kill himself?
He saw his gas bill.

Q:What do you call a bus full of white kids?
A:A tweenkie

Q:what do you call a bus full of black kids?
A:A rotten banana










Q. What do you call an ethiopian with a yeast infection?
A. Quarter pounder with cheese!


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## SangreRoja (Feb 18, 2006)

How do Asians get names for there Kids? They drop pans,spoons and forks.

How do you stop black kids from jumping on the bed? Sick valcrow on the ceiling or wet there lips and stick them on the wall.


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## Rice & Beanz (Oct 30, 2006)

what do you get when you cross a mexican and a vietnamese? A car theif that can't drive.

why do black people hate opening tylenol bottles? because there is cotton on top

what do you call a white guy surrounded by 200 black guys?--WARDEN

Why do Italians grow mustaches? So they can look like their grandmothers.

Why can't black people get on the internet? Because service providers don't offer basketball scholarships

what is the difference b/t a black person and a park bench?a park bench can support a family of four


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## SangreRoja (Feb 18, 2006)

Why dont black people stick there heads out the window when there driving? Cause there lips will beat them to death.


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## weister42 (Apr 30, 2006)

I pulled some from eBaumsworld...so they're not my jokes. I suck as racist jokes and actually don't really find them all that funny.

What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A white girl's ass

What do you call the moisture between two white people having sex?
Relative Humidity.

What do you call a disgruntled white man?
A serial killer

Whats red when born, white when scared, blue when cold, purple when choked, and pink on a daily basis?
White people

What do you call confused white people?
Wonder bread

Why did white people own slaves?
They were not strong enough to pick cotton

How do you know when a White woman is about to say something intelligent?
When she starts "A man once told me..."

btw all humans originated from East Africa and we were all Black at one point, then some people moved to colder climates and lost whatever the skin cell that makes your skin dark. Don't believe me? Read this...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/2909803.stm

They also say that racists have a low IQ. Read it here...

http://www.clubs.psu.edu/up/sayar/riqs.htm

Neo Nazis = pwned


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## MONGO  (Feb 7, 2006)

that everyone from africa bs is horseshit


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## SangreRoja (Feb 18, 2006)

NEXT


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## MONGO  (Feb 7, 2006)

What do you call a bunch of black people in a barn?
Antique farm equipment.


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## SangreRoja (Feb 18, 2006)

What do you get when you mix a Mexican and a Black? A puerto rican to lazy to steal!!!!


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## MONGO  (Feb 7, 2006)

How do you know when the asians moved into the latino neighborhood?

All the latino get car insurance.


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## SangreRoja (Feb 18, 2006)

Why do black people have ashy knuckles? Cause they still drag on the floor.


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## joey'd (Oct 26, 2005)

you guys know why there are no latinos on star trek?
cause they aint working in the future either


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## SangreRoja (Feb 18, 2006)

How long does it take a Pregnant Black mom to take a sh*t? 9months


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## MONGO  (Feb 7, 2006)

One day, in a trailerpark in Alabama, an 8 year old boy and his 7 year old sister were having sex. The boy says, "Wow! You're almost as good as maw!" The girl replied, "Really? That's what paw says!"

What do you call a white person stealing snacks?

A cracker jacker.

What do you call a white person on crack?

A double negative.

What do you call a white person with a sunburn?

Progress.

What do you call a white person who eats saltine crackers?

A cannibal.


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## SangreRoja (Feb 18, 2006)

Do you remember that black kid from the Jetsons? Man doesnt the future look good.


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## Rice & Beanz (Oct 30, 2006)

RockinTimbz said:


> One day, in a trailerpark in Alabama, an 8 year old boy and his 7 year old sister were having sex. The boy says, "Wow! You're almost as good as maw!" The girl replied, "Really? That's what paw says!"
> 
> What do you call a white person stealing snacks?
> 
> ...


that is some good white jokes!!


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## SangreRoja (Feb 18, 2006)

I think Timbz has this sh*t on LOCK.


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## MONGO  (Feb 7, 2006)

WHat do you do when you see a black guy hopping on one foot?
Stop laughing and reload LMAo

HOw do you kill a Mexican?
Hide its foodstamps under the bar of soap

WHat's the difference between a pizza and a jew?
Pizza's dont scream when thrown in the oven.

Who would win a baskketball game while playing in a gas chamber: a blacj guy or a jew?
The Jew, HOMECOURT ADVANTAGE


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## weister42 (Apr 30, 2006)

What do you call a family of Ethiopians?
Bar code


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## MONGO  (Feb 7, 2006)

whats hard and long on a black guy?
-2nd grade

why do black ppl have such big dicks? 
-gods way of saying im sorry for giving your head pubic hair

what are 3 things u cant give a black guy?
-a black eye a fat lip and a JOB

how do starve a black guy
-put his food stamps under his work boots..or
-if he aint got work boots..put it under the job application on his desk

what do u get when you cross a black guy and an octopus?
-I dont know..but it sure as HELL can pick some cotten

why is asprin white? 
-Well..you want it to work right?

Whats the diff between a deer and a black guy in the middle of the road?
-The deers got skid marks on it

What do u call a black guy in harvard?
-Janitor

whats a black guy and a dog have in common?
-every white guy should have about 2 of em

how did break dancing start? 
-little black kids tryin to steal hubcaps from moving cars

how do u keep a black baby from jumping on the bed? 
-Put velcro on the celeing

How do u get him down?
-paint him 80 diff colors and tell the mexicans u got a pinata!

lifes like a bag of jelly beans...no one wants the black ones!

So this lady wanted to have sex with a black guy..so she goes to a bar and gets one really drunk..once they get back to her apartment she gets naked and says...DO WHAT U DO BEST..so the black guy took off with the tv.

There was this man who always wanted to be a farmer, but he was to lazy to do all the work, so one day, he decided to make a bunch of robots..so he did. It worked out great for awhile..but one day a cop came and said he'd have to get rid of them, or change the color of them cuz the reflection off of them is making cars crash on the highway..so he paints them all black that night..the next day..3 of em dont show up for work!

what does a black boy get for christmas?
-your bike

why dont u throw a rock at black kids who ride bikes?
-well..its probably your bike

why are black ppl so fast? 
-slow ones are in jail

How do u keep a black guy out of your store?
-put a help wanted sign in front of it

whats the diff between batman and a black guy?
-batman can walk into a store with out robbin (hahaha)

whats the diff between a pizza and a black guy?
a pizza can feed a family of 4

why cant mexicans be firefighters?
-the cant tell hose A (jose) from hose b

why do mexicans buy cabbage patch kids?
-they come with birth certificates

this one made me laugh thinkin about it

Where does a white baby go when it dies? ...heaven
What does it become? ...Angel

where does a black baby go when it dies? ...heaven
what does it become? ...a bat.

what do u call a white guy in the ocean?
A SALTINE CRACKER


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## SangreRoja (Feb 18, 2006)

That sh*t is funny BRO


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## MONGO  (Feb 7, 2006)

What are the first 3 words in the Mexican national anthem? "Attention K-Mart shoppers."


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## pottsburg (Aug 30, 2006)

Black people hate aspirin because it's white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it!


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## MONGO  (Feb 7, 2006)

There were three guys, an American, a Canadian, and a Mexican. They had been travelling for days and were very, hungry. They came across a farm that had hundreds of fruits. While they were eating, the farmer came out and caught them.

The farmer said, "Since I'm in a good mood today, I won't kill you... If you stuff 100 of your favorite fruit up your a** without laughing.

The American was up first. He chose cherries as his favorite fruit. He got up to 78 and burst out laghing. So the farmer shot him with a shotgun.

The Canadian was next and chose grapes. He got up to 92 but started laughing so the farmer killed him too.

When the Canadian and the American arrived up in heaven, an angel asked them why they laughed.

They both replied, "We saw the Mexican with watermelons."


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## pottsburg (Aug 30, 2006)

The first black person on the moon is going to be a problem, but getting all of them on the moon will be the answer.

timbz has been blasting them here tonight


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## MONGO  (Feb 7, 2006)

why do black people have nightmares?

because they killed the only one with a dream.


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## SangreRoja (Feb 18, 2006)

Hell yeah


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## MONGO  (Feb 7, 2006)

Why dont they have the olympics in Mexico?
Because anyone who can run jump or swim is already accross the border

Why are black people so fast?
You would be fast to if you had to dodge a coat hanger for the first 9 months of you life.

Why do blacks stink?
So blind people can hate them too.

Why do jews have big noses?
Air is free.

Why don't mexicans have barbeques?
The beans keep falling through the grill.

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?
He doesn't know he's black.

Ebonics homework: use each vocabulary word in a sentence.

1. Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the hotel everybody.

2. Dictate - My girlfriend say my dictate good.

3. Catacomb - I saw Don King at da fight the other night. Man, somebody get that catacomb.

4. Foreclose - If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose.

5. Rectum - I had two Cadillac's, but my bitch rectum both.

6. Disappointment - My parole officer tol' me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the joint.

7. Penis - I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said penis.

8. Israel - Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, "man, it look fake." He say, "Bullshit, that watch israel."

9. Undermine - There's a fine lookin' ho living in the apartment undermine.

10. Acoustic - When I was little, my uncle bought me acoustic and took me to the poolhall.

11. Iraq - When we got to the poolhall, I tol' my uncle iraq, you break.

12. Stain - My mother-in-law stopped by and I axed her, "Do you plan on stain for dinner?"

13. Fortify - I axed this ho on da street, "how much?" She say "fortify."

14. Income - I just got in bed wif da ho and income my wife.

15. Omelette - I should pop yo ass fo what you jus did, but omelette dis one slide.










Why are black people so tall?
Because they're ******* (knee grows)


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## Puff (Feb 14, 2005)

What do you call an indian (from india) with a peg leg?
A: sh*t on a stick

What do you call two natives on a bike?
A: organized crime

What is a seven-course meal on a Sioux rez???
A: Six pack of Budweiser & a puppy.

Would you ever run over an Indian riding a new bike?
A: No, it might be your bike!

What do you call a two natives sleeping in a ditch?
A: a slumber party

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice for too long?
A: Polaroids

Why are black people so fast?
A. All the slow ones are in jail.


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## Dr. Giggles (Oct 18, 2003)

Oldie but goodie -- 
Why do women wear panties in the winter time ?

They don't want to get chapped lips.


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## b_ack51 (Feb 11, 2003)

I only know a few dead baby jokes....

_What's the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby?

I don't have sex with a ham sandwich before I eat it._

_What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon?

One you smash with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon._

and the dead baby joke to end all dead baby jokes...

_

What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?

You don't cum on a golden delcious apple before you take a bite out of it. _


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## C0Rey (Jan 7, 2006)

back that has to be from the worst neighbourhood in the interweb right?

feel like i broke the law just reading it..


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## Geis (Jan 16, 2007)

ya that was wrong in so many ways. i feel dirty now....


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## Doktordet (Sep 22, 2006)

uh----uhm...







lol


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## acestro (Jul 7, 2003)

What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him?

get off me homes...


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## acb (Nov 9, 2004)

whats red, bubbles, and knocks on the door.....a baby in a microwave
whats black and blue and doesnt move.....a baby in a plastic bag


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## CROSSHAIR223 (Jan 17, 2005)

Why do women have small feet?

To stand closer to the stove.

If you wife is knocking at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door who do you let in first and why??

The dog, once you let him in he'll shut-up.

Why were shopping karts invented?

So women would learn to walk upright.

What do ******** do on halloween?

PUMPkin.


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## Trigga (Jul 1, 2006)

RockinTimbz said:


> Im Mexican and I dont give a rats ass its all in fun to me.
> 
> What do you call white people falling from a mountain? An Avalanche


Im the same way.. im not racist i have colored T.V.
[/quote]
THAT sh*t IZ QUOTE WORTHY!


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## itstheiceman (Oct 5, 2006)

what do you call a latino midget? a paragraph because hes not yet an essay

whats long black and smelly??? the un-employment line

whens the only time you focus on a black guy?? while staring thru your rifle scope


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## Leasure1 (Jul 24, 2006)

Enough with the black jokes guys....I am _very_ offended

j/k


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## karl ramsdell (Oct 28, 2006)

why does a black man eyes burn during sex?
the mace

did you hear about ku klux knievel?
he is going to jump 1000 blacks with a steamroller

what does a black and a sperm have in common?
only 1 in a million works

did you hear they found a black shot 20 times in the head in mississipi?
sheriff said it was the worst case of suicide he ever saw.

how does a black man get into a good business?
down through the skylight

hear baout the jewsih santa clause?
send the girts COD

whats all white and has a black asshole?
the A-team

what did they find when they tore down the berlin wall?
hide n seek champion of poland

what the only thing faster than a black man going down the street with your TV?
his brother in front of him with the vcr

did you hear about the black that finally made it to 3rd grade?
he got so excited he cut himself shaving


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## beercandan (Nov 3, 2004)

what do you call a guy with his hand up a horses ass?
an armish mechanic


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## PinKragon (Dec 28, 2005)

A Mexican man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only Mexican man there.As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." 
The Mexican man turned around and stood up.He then said: 
"listen Pendejo....when i was born, i was BROWN, " 
"When i grew up, i was BROWN, " 
"When i'm sick, i'm BROWN, " 
"When i go in the sun, i'm BROWN, " 
"When I'm cold, i'm BROWN, " 
"When i die, i'll be BROWN." 
But you pendejo...." 
"When you're born, you're pink, " 
"When you grow up, you're white, " 
"When you're sick, you're green, " 
"When you go in the sun, you turn red, " 
"When you're cold, you turn blue, " 
"And when you die, you turn purple." 
"And you have the nerve to call me colored?" 
"Chinga tu madre, puto!!!


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## b_ack51 (Feb 11, 2003)

What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac going off a cliff?

It seats five.


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## spranga (Dec 28, 2006)

What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?

The PGA tour.

What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?

A white girl's ass!


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## Puff (Feb 14, 2005)

how do you make a somalian jealous????

Take a sh*t


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## spranga (Dec 28, 2006)

A little black boy goes into the kitchen where His mom is baking. He puts His hand in the flour and wipes it all over His face. He looks at His mom and says, "Mom, look, I`m a white boy!"
His mom slaps him in the kisser and says, "Go show your father!"
He goes to His dad in the living room and says, "Look dad, I`m a white boy!" His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your Grandmother!"
The boy goes in His grandmother`s room and says, "Look granny, I`m a white boy!" His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to His mother.
His mother says "See. Did you learn anything from that?!"
To which the boy replies, "Sure enough did. I`ve only been white for 5 minutes and I already hate you black people!"


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## CROSSHAIR223 (Jan 17, 2005)

This is just horrible. All these black jokes? Come on guys! I had alot of black friends.

Then my dad sold them all.

What was missing at the million man march???

2 miles of chain and an auctioneer.


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## nitrofish (Jan 14, 2003)

theres always ******* jokes.******** are all white folk.


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## spranga (Dec 28, 2006)

You Might Be A ******* If . . .

. . . you were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45's.

. . . you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

. . . your front porch collapses and four dogs get killed.

. . . you no longer drink wine ever since the screw cap got caught up your nose.

. . . you think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

. . . that billboard that says, "Say No To Crack" reminds you to pull up your jeans.

. . . your wife's hairdo was ever ruined by a ceiling fan.

. . . you go to your family reunions looking for a date.

. . . you think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.

. . . your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.

. . . you've got more than three cousins named "Bubba".

. . . you have an Elvis Jell-O mold.

. . . taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

. . . you've got more than one other named "Darryl".

. . . you ever won first prize in a tobacco spittin' contest.

. . . on Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.

. . . you've ever come home and found crime scene tape across your front porch.

. . . your favorite entree is Spam barbecued on the grill.

. . . your child's first words were, "Attention K-Mart shoppers!".


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## hyphen (Apr 4, 2004)

please refer to the forum rules.


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