# Dropping a load at work



## Azeral (Dec 28, 2004)

I used to be Finch from american pie and go home everytime I had to drop a load. Now I blast them out proudly. I still hate using public restrooms









Anyone else have the public restroom phobia?


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## syrus410 (Jun 9, 2005)

Me too.....I just walked in from handlin mine!


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## freakgasolinefightaccident (Jan 3, 2005)

i get pee anxiety when im not drunk.


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## vinniegambini (Feb 28, 2003)

If you gotta go, you gotta go. I was at the mall and had to use the bathroom once (#2) and did it quickly because the old guy in the stall next to me crapped all over himself and on the floor. I had to get out of there before someone thought I did it. lol Then I saw the old guy with crap all over him eating at the crowded food court with his wife and somebody was sitting next to him. UGH!!!!


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## Enriqo_Suavez (Mar 31, 2004)

Hell yeah. I love getting paid to drop a deuce.


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## johndeere (Jul 21, 2004)

I pretty much bury the seat in TP and those seat covers if I have to go.


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## nismo driver (Jan 27, 2004)

i am on a deuce at work schedule, its one break i take that im gaureeneteed never to get pulled from. the cleaners make thererounds twice during the day so i make sure i get in right after they finish so i get a fresh cleaned facility..


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## ITsPennywise (May 26, 2005)

I HATE taking dumps in public restrooms...Or any restrooms besides my own for that matter...But maily public ones...Which is why I always have my little Germ-X bottle handy...I usually Germ-X the entire seat down...Flush that toilet paper...Then take some more toilet paper and fill up the new water...So as to have "no splash up" from the load...Then of course I double layer the seat with some more toilet paper...Just to be sure.

Yes...I am a proud germ-a-phobe when it comes to using public toilets.


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## Azeral (Dec 28, 2004)

I just can't stand others being in the other shitters at the same time also. If someone else comes in I'll stop and wait till they leave. I've been practicing up to just let it rip when they come in.....loud farts, exploding ass, huge splashes. hehehe


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## ITsPennywise (May 26, 2005)

Yeah I used to have that problem too...Of like worrying about someone else being in there at the same time as me...Now...I just don't care...I unleash the fury with no problems...But sometimes at work...I might be a little more worried...Because you know...I don't want my co-workers being like damn man...You f*ckin stink to high heaven when you drop em....But even if they did...Id probably just say thanks and move on.


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## Piranha King (Nov 28, 2002)

yep its annoying when theres 4 stalls but they go right next to you. 
wes


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## nismo driver (Jan 27, 2004)

dude people are ruthless at work, it is pretty nasty actually everyones just farting like mad while they piss because theyve been holding it in for an hour during meetings. the worst is your taking a leak your boss comes in rips ass like ten times while pissing two feet away then wants to have a serious converstation with you..


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## b_ack51 (Feb 11, 2003)

nismo driver said:


> dude people are ruthless at work, it is pretty nasty actually everyones just farting like mad while they piss because theyve been holding it in for an hour during meetings. the worst is your taking a leak your boss comes in rips ass like ten times while pissing two feet away then wants to have a serious converstation with you..
> [snapback]1192517[/snapback]​


Yeah I hate the boss always trying to talk to you in the bathroom. Like hello, I'm taking a piss here. Leave me be for a few.

But getting paid to poop is probably the best part of my job.


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## Guest (Sep 14, 2005)

nismo driver said:


> dude people are ruthless at work, it is pretty nasty actually everyones just farting like mad while they piss because theyve been holding it in for an hour during meetings. the worst is your taking a leak your boss comes in rips ass like ten times while pissing two feet away then wants to have a serious converstation with you..
> [snapback]1192517[/snapback]​


Rip ass









Az, I have the same problem I hate when other people are in there.


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## shutter13 (Jun 23, 2004)

i hate public bathrooms

i also have a shy bladder and cant go when anyone is in there with me... f*cking sucks


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## Mortimer (Jul 28, 2005)

Germ paranoia, hell yeah!!!  Around here, I haven't seen any place yet with those covers. TP layers after a good wiping with a wet p towl from the sink. And peeing in the toilets, I use my foot to lift the lids if need b and of course to flush too. Grosses me out everywhere I go. I swear there's a spray painter who is always about 15 minutes ahead of me too. Then I try and wait it out till I get home. ALWAYS make sure to think if I have to or not before going out. Even the slightest doubt I may, I'll try and force one beforehand.


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## sKuz (May 21, 2003)

nothing better than knowing you are getting paid while laying cable down at work.


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## Atlanta Braves Baby! (Mar 12, 2003)

I wont do anymore then take a piss in a public restroom


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## boozehound420 (Apr 18, 2005)

i really dont care, if i gotta sh*t i gotta sh*t...i've got my body in a good schedule were every morning i have the need to drop a bomb

unless ive been drinking way to much or ate some nasty food, then its like 3 times a day, and i'll go wherever i em...dont need any hershy squirts in my pants


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## Uncle Rico (Sep 4, 2005)

I really hate taking a dump in public restrooms. Especially the ones with a really strong flush that could potentially fling sh*t at you. And it takes time to set up those sanitary seat covers and if the toilet has a sensor on it, it might flush while you are trying to set it up and you arent even on the toilet and it gets your setup all wet and you have to rebuild. I usually end up having to dump my load at work or school because I am not home very much. I dont do much at work though, I'm usually on this forum (like now for example).


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## hyphen (Apr 4, 2004)

if the bathroom is semi-clean, i don't care. i just triple layer the toilet seat protector. but i'm at a clean art school. my high schools, forget about it. i used to go in there and there would be sh*t on the seats and all kindsa other nasty sh*t. lausd is CRAP.


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## Kemper1989 (Feb 14, 2005)

vinniegambini said:


> If you gotta go, you gotta go. I was at the mall and had to use the bathroom once (#2) and did it quickly because the old guy in the stall next to me crapped all over himself and on the floor. I had to get out of there before someone thought I did it. lol Then I saw the old guy with crap all over him eating at the crowded food court with his wife and somebody was sitting next to him. UGH!!!!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thats halarious


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## o snap its eric (Feb 19, 2003)

i have a phobia or something cuz i too will not take a dump in a public bathroom unless its utterly nesscary. i think its because i dont like make the splash sound or farting and other people can hear it. I have no problem taking a piss in public bathrooms though.


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## lightning2004 (Jun 25, 2005)

i take so much pride in mines i wait till someone comes in and then push full force making as much noise has i can..lol and even scream sometimers for extra effect..


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## o snap its eric (Feb 19, 2003)

ever go to the airport and hear the people making sigh noises and whatnot after every drop? sickens me


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## Guest (Sep 15, 2005)

lightning2004 said:


> i take so much pride in mines i wait till someone comes in and then push full force making as much noise has i can..lol and even scream sometimers for extra effect..
> [snapback]1193303[/snapback]​


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## PaNo617 (Jan 31, 2005)

lightning2004 said:


> i take so much pride in mines i wait till someone comes in and then push full force making as much noise has i can..lol and even scream sometimers for extra effect..
> [snapback]1193303[/snapback]​


 You're a sick man!









Seriously though, I woundn't take a dump at work. Or any public place, Took me a long time. I never had to, But now i make sure i take a dump durng work hours, never on break, lol. I hate when there are other people in the bathroom. I still have kind of a phobia, I also flush first then i grab a shitload of toilet paper to whip it down, then i triple layer it with toilet paper. I always use the small bathroom that has only one stall, so nobody else is around. The toilets also have amazing flushing power. In the "public" bathroom we have on the first floor there was a time when at least once a month someone would go in there and use the handicaped toilet and literally sh*t ALL OVER THE STALL! I mean it was EVERYWHERE, the floor walls ,it was nasty! And it smelled even worse! I think someone did it on purpose, they must eat and prepare for a dump like that cause i've never seen so much sh*t in my life...


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## Uncle Rico (Sep 4, 2005)

I even feel more comfortable taking a dump in the woods than in a public restroom.


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## Azeral (Dec 28, 2004)

I'm just about to go explode the bathroom. I ate some taco bell last night.


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## Azeral (Dec 28, 2004)

Here's a good article.

*How to Poop at Work*
We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.

ESCAPEE
Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE)
Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH
Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME
Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
Definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN)
Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS
Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR
Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH
Definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE
Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON
Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET
Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE TED
Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

FLY BY
Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.


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## Xenon (Nov 15, 2002)

PIRANHA KING said:


> yep its annoying when theres 4 stalls but they go right next to you.
> wes
> [snapback]1192510[/snapback]​


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## Guest (Sep 15, 2005)

Azeral said:


> Here's a good article.
> 
> *How to Poop at Work*
> We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.
> ...










Az


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## Azeral (Dec 28, 2004)

I just used the ASTAIRE tactic at work. It worked perfect.


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## mori0174 (Mar 31, 2004)

I dont wait to be alone to poop. I let it out, and they can deal with it. Its supposed to be a mens restroom, not a womens.


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## Azeral (Dec 28, 2004)

mori0174 said:


> I dont wait to be alone to poop. I let it out, and they can deal with it. Its supposed to be a mens restroom, not a womens.


You then are the....

*OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER*
Definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

and a suspected.......

*TURD BURGLAR*
Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.


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## MR.FREEZ (Jan 26, 2004)

:laugh: had to chime in on this one. i used to be

an appliance delivery guy (maytag man) and i used to

have to sh*t in a customers house









it smelled real nice after eating el taroscos

mexican food for lunch. we used to try and gross

each other out while hookin a machine up. one guy

would be holdin a 25 cubic foot frig, a big mama jama,

and he couldnt go any were or the thing would fall so the

other guy would fart and stink the place up


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## Jewelz (Feb 24, 2004)

mori0174 said:


> I dont wait to be alone to poop. I let it out, and they can deal with it. Its supposed to be a mens restroom, not a womens.


What's that got to do with it ? You don't think women sh*t in their restroom at work ?

But yeah we only have 2 stalls at work. I usually don't go if one of the stalls is busy, I come back later


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## SangreRoja (Feb 18, 2006)

Azeral said:


> Here's a good article.
> 
> *How to Poop at Work*
> We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.
> ...


When I was deployed there were guy's that got STD's from sitting on the toilet seat and from that day on i just hold my grown and drop my kids of at my pool.


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## mori0174 (Mar 31, 2004)

Ron Mexico said:


> I dont wait to be alone to poop. I let it out, and they can deal with it. Its supposed to be a mens restroom, not a womens.


You then are the....

*OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER*
Definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

and a suspected.......

*TURD BURGLAR*
Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.









[/quote]

If its gonna be a good one, yeah i take a magazine or a section of the newspaper.


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## Puff (Feb 14, 2005)

i dropped logs in some pretty nasty facilities around the world...but when im at home in vancouver its hard for me to go take a dump in a public place...or even at someones house.

ill be at my gfs house and my gut starts howling at me that its that time of the day to drop some friends off at the pool. so many times ive sat and suffered through it. too embarassed to bomb my gfs bathroom and blow her mind in the process.

ive just recently said 'f*ck it' and started bombing whenever the need arises.

but public facilities....errrr...still not too keen on them.

when i worked up on a ski mountain all they had for shitters were outhouses with holes in the ground. one day i had the flu at work and was crapping out everything in my body. i had an emergency and just HAD to use the outhouse..

do you know how unnerving it is to pinch logs 20 feet about the bottom of a hole? you clip one, and can count the seconds it takes to make contact with all his other friends down there...makes me nervous...lol


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## Jewelz (Feb 24, 2004)

mori0174 said:


> I dont wait to be alone to poop. I let it out, and they can deal with it. Its supposed to be a mens restroom, not a womens.


What's that got to do with it ? You don't think women sh*t in their restroom at work ?

But yeah we only have 2 stalls at work. I usually don't go if one of the stalls is busy, I come back later
[/quote]

Not that they dont sh*t, but they are more likely to be worried what another woman would think of them if they let out a ripper in there. Thats all.








[/quote]

I wonder how true that is. I've met some girls who are very open about this sort of thing. I wish some of our Pfury females would share their experiences in this thread...


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## DrewBoOty (Nov 23, 2002)

I dreaded it before.. but I've learned to adapt and deal. I'm always in a rush in the mornings so I never get to take my morning dump at home. But it isnt too bad cause when I get to school/work, all classes are in session and I'm just about the only bastard in the building otherwise. I'm ALWAYS the first person to christen the toilet. I rule. I'm still quick about it though. I cant be fucked having that retarded guy who pushes the trash can around coming in and trying to talk to me. bad enough he busts in my office and is like "HEY MAN, WHOS YOUR DRIVER?" I've started promptly yelling back "DALE EARNHARDT MAN!!" and throwing up my fist. Now I just need to work on my mullet.


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## Puff (Feb 14, 2005)

just saw the differnt types of poopers..lol

ive had a few escapees at the urinal. i usually just look at ther person (who will already be staring at me) and say, "you're not going to excuse yourself??"

that usually gets them to zip up and leave so fumigation can begin.

when someone tries to invade on my taking a dump i usually retort with a deep throat clear. sometimes i purposely keep quiet and try and drop a huge one so all the guy hears is "SPLOOOOSH!!!"

another funny thing to do if you come in and someone is obviously having trouble relieving themselves. sometimes i start to fake grunt and groan like im having the same trouble. "AAARRRHHH...MMMMM....AAAHHHH.....OOOH, here it comes...nope...ARRRHHHH....MMMMMM"

ive cracked up a couple of dumptakers with my antics. must be hard trying not to laugh at loud while taking a dump.

another great thing was in high school. you'd go into the bathroom and you could tell someone was in a stall. but they lifted up their feet so you cant see they're there. but you can hear them breathing heavily. then while you're peeing in the urinal you hear them struggling to keep it in so their position isnt given away. finally their sphyncter loses control and you can just hear the embarrassment flowing out with all the fecal matter. LMFAO!!

oh yeah, and i remember hearing an interview with Cameron Diaz. she's a courtesy flusher. she said she flushes everytime a log hits the water.lmao. so funny hearing it come from an actress.hahha

myphen's story reminded me of college as well. id make a mad dash back to my apartment in the middle of class just to take a dump. if you saw the guys i was in class with you wouldnt blame me.lol. but it must have been funny seeing me sprint accross the campus and run up the stairs to my room. get back into class fully sweating. must have looked bad.lol


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## Guest (Mar 8, 2006)

myphen said:


> *DALE EARNHARDT*


***.


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## DrewBoOty (Nov 23, 2002)

DannyBoy17 said:


> *DALE EARNHARDT*


***.








[/quote]
lol. I dont watch nascar. thats just a mainstream name I can place with it.

btw... WHOS YOUR DRIVER MAN???


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## Guest (Mar 8, 2006)

myphen said:


> *DALE EARNHARDT*


***.








[/quote]
lol. I dont watch nascar. thats just a mainstream name I can place with it.

btw... WHOS YOUR DRIVER MAN???
[/quote]

GREG BIFFLE MAN!


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## DrewBoOty (Nov 23, 2002)

sh*t YEAH DOGGIE!


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## Fry (Oct 9, 2005)

I lay eggs! if im not caught laying one and some poor bastard happens to walk in shortly after im done I consider it an easter egg.


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## Azeral (Dec 28, 2004)

Ron Mexico said:


> I dont wait to be alone to poop. I let it out, and they can deal with it. Its supposed to be a mens restroom, not a womens.


What's that got to do with it ? You don't think women sh*t in their restroom at work ?

But yeah we only have 2 stalls at work. I usually don't go if one of the stalls is busy, I come back later
[/quote]

We have the 2 stall bathroom also. If I see one occupied I won't take the other and sweep back later. Sometimes! The out of closet pooper comes in and blasts into the other stall. Some sloth breathing hard , grunting and gagging as he blasts out that ton of food his fatass shoved down his mouth.







It pisses me off, I wish the s.o.b would die on the stool
















I wanna Poop in Peace


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## boozehound420 (Apr 18, 2005)

i sit on the shitter for as long as possible, its like a 3rd coffee break, 
i do renovations and things so im always worried about flooding the toilet when im in an old shitty house
always give it a flush before the TP goes in


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## Guest (Mar 8, 2006)

Nothing is worse than the pesky friend who follows you into the bathroom just to talk to you while you are in the stall. He just doesnt get the hint.


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## Jewelz (Feb 24, 2004)

Azeral said:


> I dont wait to be alone to poop. I let it out, and they can deal with it. Its supposed to be a mens restroom, not a womens.


What's that got to do with it ? You don't think women sh*t in their restroom at work ?

But yeah we only have 2 stalls at work. I usually don't go if one of the stalls is busy, I come back later
[/quote]

We have the 2 stall bathroom also. If I see one occupied I won't take the other and sweep back later. Sometimes! The out of closet pooper comes in and blasts into the other stall. Some sloth breathing hard , grunting and gagging as he blasts out that ton of food his fatass shoved down his mouth.







It pisses me off, I wish the s.o.b would die on the stool
















I wanna Poop in Peace








[/quote]

I know dude, isn't that just obnoxious as hell ???









Or if someone is like me, and I see them walk into the bathroom, then see my feet in the stall and walk away, I smile happilly while I am thinking... "Showed you, didn't I ? Thaaaat's riiiight.. Just keep on walking, buddy...."


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## blazednosferatu (Feb 27, 2006)

ya i cant piss in front of anyone. I have to go in a stall lol, i also can barely piss for my p.o. i just drink lots and lots of water until it hurts.


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## Jewelz (Feb 24, 2004)

20 Funny things to do in a bathroom stall.

Things to do in the bathroom stall...

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. Drop a marble and say, "oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"

6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"

11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters.

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"

13. Say. "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"

14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"

15. Say, "Darn, I Knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"

20. When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."


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## Mettle (Dec 29, 2003)

Please use another term other than 'load' the next time you make a post like this.


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## piranha_guy_dan (Oct 4, 2004)

i always try to hold it in as long as possible but sometimes thats just not an option and ya gotta giver. i try to get er done quick and get out b4 someone comes in.

when someone comes in while im there i try and hold on til they leave LOL

always check for TP before commiting the crime tho or else you might end up being barefoot in your shoes.


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## eL ChiNo LoCo (Apr 16, 2004)

boozehound420 said:


> 20 Funny things to do in a bathroom stall.
> 
> Things to do in the bathroom stall...
> 
> ...


























You guys dont know how hard I was laughing.......hahahahha


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## joey'd (Oct 26, 2005)

no #2 for me in public areas unless im gonna crap my pants, lol i just read the first line from azeral,


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## Puff (Feb 14, 2005)

im surprised noones mentioned airplane toilets...

those motherf*ckers have given me the most bad experiences in my life.

one time on a flight from florida to some place the f*cking toilet broke after some fat bastard bombed it. the smell was so horrible. i was sitting in the middle of the plane and i couldnt even breathe! i had 2 blankets and 2 pillows to stuff my face in and it still wouldnt go away.

then theres the time where you get up to take a mid-flight dump..only to have the turbulence light come on. i suffer through the turbulence and the second the light goes off i fly to the can...only to find some other fat bastard has been in there the whole time with nasty-airplane-food-squirts...OMG









so many bad airplane bathroom stories it's not funny. i also hate the airplane sh*tters with the insanely loud sucking sound when you flush. i swear it could pull the logs right out of your ass if you tried it.


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## Guest (Mar 8, 2006)

Puff said:


> im surprised noones mentioned airplane toilets...
> 
> those motherf*ckers have given me the most bad experiences in my life.
> 
> ...


Sounds like you want to place a wager on that?









Seriously tho, I hate them too. I cant concentrate, and therefor I cant produce. But them I sit down and Im so fuckin uncomfortalbe becuase my bowels are killing me...they are pissed because I didnt show up for the big game.

Then I realize I didnt empty my inner canteen, and I need to piss again. But people like count the number of times you get up, so you are all self concious. f*ck airplanes.


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## jiggy (Jun 27, 2004)

three brazilian women were killed in an accident today. 
president bush: 'how many is a brazillion?'


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## Puff (Feb 14, 2005)

jiggy said:


> three brazilian women were killed in an accident today.
> president bush: 'how many is a brazillion?'


wow...havent heard that one before...









mixed with the fact it's irrelevant to the topic








???


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## Mettle (Dec 29, 2003)

DannyBoy17 said:


> three brazilian women were killed in an accident today.
> president bush: 'how many is a brazillion?'










... but seriously ... wtf?


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## jiggy (Jun 27, 2004)

i have no idea.. lol


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## flyboy (May 11, 2004)

I remember hearing a story of an overwieght woman getting stuck to an airplane toilet. She flushed while sitting down and the suction created by the toilet created a vacuum. Don't know if it was true, but that would suck.


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## Gordeez (Sep 21, 2003)

Azeral said:


> i take so much pride in mines i wait till someone comes in and then push full force making as much noise has i can..lol and even scream sometimers for extra effect..












Before, couldnt reall poop at in public. Now, man, I can drop em like nothing.
And it feels great shitting while on the clock, and using company TP


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## KumbiaQueens (Feb 5, 2003)

Most females don't talk about this sort of thing because well ... what happens in the bathroom stays in the bathroom ... however ... its well past midnight and i've lost all sense of humilation ... and brain activity for that matter ...

you guys think going in a public restroom is bad? try this one ... by working in a hotel, i'm pretty much forced to stay in the front desk at all times during the shift unless i'm on break .. and well let's face it, who wants to sit on the toilet and take a sh*t when they're on break. so anyway .. because i can't just leave my station unattended, i try to "schedule" any bathroom pit stops while there is someone else there watching the desk. This has its downsides though because my office isn't exactly spacious. If there isn't anyone around, I have to rush myself because it's against our policy to lock the front door. Only thing I can do is lock my cash tilt and hope somebody isn't smart enough to jimmy it open. Now I don't have to worry about someone in the next stall, but I do have to worry about the next possible visitor. Lucky for me, our bathroom has an exhaust fan exactly over the toilet seat. To mask any sounds that may be happening, as well as any possible future smell, I'll keep the fan on for the entire time I'm in there. If for whatever reason it doesn't work, we have plan B ... a can of air freshener that gets sprayed into the toilet bowl as its filling back up with water. - Now I never used to be able to go at work ... but once you start downing Starbucks Frappachinos everyday for a couple months ... it starts to get to you. For the most part, I wait until I'm home because at least that way, I dont have to listen for someone walking into my lobby, and worrying if it might be one of our many managers doing a random inspection and there's nobody in the front desk. 
So there you go kiddies ... a female's take on dumping your load at work. I can no longer feel my toes, so its officially my bed time. Until next time ... GOODNIGHT!


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## joey'd (Oct 26, 2005)

ya and ill bet women dont fart right








what about soul plane, he got stcuk in the toilet


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## Azeral (Dec 28, 2004)

I had to do the WALK OF SHAME today.








Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

I tried to stop it with the courtesy flush but the habanero I had on my tacos last night took over. Along with burning ass; it stunk like a dead corpse when I left. hehehehe


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## Ms_Nattereri (Jan 11, 2003)

KumbiaQueens said:


> Lucky for me, our bathroom has an exhaust fan exactly over the toilet seat.


You realize that "exhaust fan" leads to no where and its basic "purpose" is just to swirl around the air thats already in the bathroom?


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## Jewelz (Feb 24, 2004)

BTW, Ever since I got my video Ipod, "going to the office" in the office has been more fun than ever.. there is nothing better in the whole world than watchig Fight Club or an episode of Family Guy while dropping a load.

But lately, I've been reading a small paperback book. So when I go, I am able to fit it in my pocket, and noone suspects anything, so I am still not completely out of the closet, so to speak


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## scent troll (Apr 4, 2005)

Azeral said:


> I used to be Finch from american pie and go home everytime I had to drop a load. Now I blast them out proudly. I still hate using public restrooms
> 
> 
> 
> ...


what a fantastic topic! hell yeah i hate public restrooms. i dont really consider my work restroom a public one. im a mechanic and its in the shop with us. so pretty much only we use it. and ill glady drop a duece in there if need be, but as far as restrooms abroad, yeah im pretty hesitant on being anywhere but home when its time for #2. i mean im not about to fight it, but its much better in your own little restroom. light a few candles, open a magazine, make a nice night of it ya know?


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## Scrappy (Oct 21, 2004)

I just make sure to use an assgasket.


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## Puff (Feb 14, 2005)

another huge problem i have is when it's your first day on the job. sometimes i get a bit nervous not knowing what to expect, and the nervousness wreaks havoc on my bowels.

i remember when i started as an electrician. i was fresh out of trade school and so nervous that i was going to f*ck something up. i had to take about 3 or 4 dumps just before noon!! the nerves had turned my insides to liquid...not to good to have while up on a 12 foot ladder with a guy below you...lol

anyways, we were installing a server in this new building in a new section of a mall. there were no bathrooms in the building yet...but accross the street was a nice, new Starbucks. so i made my pit stops in there. i hope the damned coffee hippies enjoyed my scent









that was a powerful load that day. must have been toxic or something.


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## scent troll (Apr 4, 2005)

Puff said:


> another huge problem i have is when it's your first day on the job. sometimes i get a bit nervous not knowing what to expect, and the nervousness wreaks havoc on my bowels.
> 
> i remember when i started as an electrician. i was fresh out of trade school and so nervous that i was going to f*ck something up. i had to take about 3 or 4 dumps just before noon!! the nerves had turned my insides to liquid...not to good to have while up on a 12 foot ladder with a guy below you...lol
> 
> ...


oh god man! that sounds like a day straight from hell! ive had days like that, where your back and forth, but no bathrooms in the building?!?! man when you gotta go you gotta go, that had to suck. hats off to you for making it through that day


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## jiggy (Jun 27, 2004)

it sucks when u have diarrea at work and u wanna hold it in as much as possible til u almost sh*t in ur pants.. then u quickly walk to the bathroom.. u walk in and theres a guy that knows u taking a piss in the urinal.. but u have to sh*t bad as hell.. u go in the stall and before u can even sit down completely.. BBBFFFFFFFTTT!!!! PFFFT PFFFFT!! ::splash:: ::splash:: PLOP! PLOP!.. pressurized diarrea hitting the water and splashing nasty toilet water all over ur ass...


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## Puff (Feb 14, 2005)

HAHAHAHAH. oh man jiggy. i know exactly what you're talking about!!

i almost levelled my dads office building in bangkok last time i was there. i had some funky seafood i think...and it was spicy as hell...so that made for an evil evil logfest.

spent about 30mins in there trying to clear myself out. had 3 or 4 ppl come in, catch a whiff...then turn around and leave.

i thought they were going to call the biohazard boys to evacuate the building...

i walked out of that bathroom with a very noticeable limp. i needed to make sure my but cheeks didnt touch eachother because of the burning...


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## yourhead (Jan 22, 2006)

I'll crap wherever I have to as long as I can dump a coupe assgaskets down. I get stage fright in those trough style pissers though. Aside from that I can pee in a little stall.

Has anyone seen "Waiting" the movie about restaurant service? The guy in that can't pee at all. Funny stuff...

Regards,

Brian


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## scent troll (Apr 4, 2005)

jiggy you reminded me of another thing i hate. same scenario you put down. you have to crap your ass off and you do the little power walk and bee line for the rest room...only to find a pair of feet in every stall. and you just let out that frustrated groan and think of a happy place. and then like you said, theres those restrooms that are WAY too quiet. you definately need a PA system playing music AND a loud ass vent fan in a public restroom. kind of the ice breaker. otherwise its just an embarased dude dropping a duece and a dude at the urinal trying to hurry the hell up and get out


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## vinniegambini (Feb 28, 2003)

I once worked as a tree trimmer for a summer. So onetime I was cutting trees at the Italian embassy in Washington DC, I had to sh*t real bad but knew they wouldn't let me in to use their toilet, so I sh*t in their woods. The other guys sh*t in the back of the chipper truck and then someone called for a load of chips and they ended up getting 2 loads dropped in their driveway that day.


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## User (May 31, 2004)

I hate public restrooms, but if I have to go I do.

On the clock sh*t is usually the best sh*t you could have. Being its a clean sh*t (sh*t came out, see sh*t in the bowl, but there's no sh*t on the paper). A wet sh*t eats the clock, wipe your ass fifty times and you're not clean. Some employees favor that.

At my last job we had phantom sh*t - sh*t appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there. Really does piss me off.



Ron Mexico said:


> BTW, Ever since I got my video Ipod, "going to the office" in the office has been more fun than ever.. there is nothing better in the whole world than watchig Fight Club or an episode of Family Guy while dropping a load.
> 
> But lately, I've been reading a small paperback book. So when I go, I am able to fit it in my pocket, and noone suspects anything, so I am still not completely out of the closet, so to speak


I ponder the future while on the throne.


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## Scooby (Dec 25, 2003)

vinniegambini said:


> If you gotta go, you gotta go. I was at the mall and had to use the bathroom once (#2) and did it quickly because the old guy in the stall next to me crapped all over himself and on the floor. I had to get out of there before someone thought I did it. lol Then I saw the old guy with crap all over him eating at the crowded food court with his wife and somebody was sitting next to him. UGH!!!!


Rofl oh man this story made me power laugh


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## Jewelz (Feb 24, 2004)

One of the sickest things I see in public restrooms is people emerging from the stall and just heading for the exit without washing their hands. Nobody in my office does it, of course, but I see it from time to time in the gym.. *DISGUSTING !!!!*























People who don't wash their hands after shitting deserve to be stoned to death and fed to the pigs


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## Puff (Feb 14, 2005)

Ron Mexico said:


> One of the sickest things I see in public restrooms is people emerging from the stall and just heading for the exit without washing their hands. Nobody in my office does it, of course, but I see it from time to time in the gym.. *DISGUSTING !!!!*
> 
> 
> 
> ...


send them to Iraq to shake hands with all the insurgents


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## Jewelz (Feb 24, 2004)

Puff said:


> One of the sickest things I see in public restrooms is people emerging from the stall and just heading for the exit without washing their hands. Nobody in my office does it, of course, but I see it from time to time in the gym.. *DISGUSTING !!!!*
> 
> 
> 
> ...


send them to Iraq to shake hands with all the insurgents








[/quote]

Too much.. that'd be a definite violation of human rights, or form of torture.. Insurgents deserve better


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## yourhead (Jan 22, 2006)

Almost off topic... but your mention of a vent reminded me. At my old place we always smelled a diaper smell on the sales floor so we complained for months and months that it smelt like crap near the vending machines and the back by our big screen TVs. The boss always kind of blew us off but how the hell would he know when he sat in his office 8.9 out of 9 hours of the day. Anyways, we always noticed the smell and we finally had a maintanance person come to the store. We asked her about it and she got up into the roofing tiles and discovered someone had purposely redirected the vent from outside to the outlet right above the vending machine/TVs. It was the smell from the mens bathroom being vented directly to the sales floor! Oh man, she redirected it and we breathed fresh air from then on... memories.

Regards,

Brian


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## quickdeath (Jan 15, 2006)

I was in the Army for a number of years, there you would have no stalls, no doors, etc. 
I became a free-spirit. If you want to know how to keep people out of a public bathroom when you are taking a sh*t, just leave the stall door open. 
When I was in Iraq we were always on the go. If we had Hum-V's I would carry a roll of plastic sheeting. I would roll out a big square and sh*t on it right in the middle of the city. My guys thought I was nuts but after a while they all were doing it. Sometimes you gotta sh*t ASAP, and you must be prepared! I'm not shy about taking a sh*t, if some freak wants to watch more power to him. I drop the kids off in the pool and then head out!


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## NexTech84 (Jan 19, 2006)

This thread reminded me of a video I saw the other day of something we used to do to people in the stalls of UMass









These guys kinda suck at it, but it's still pretty funny. Check it out


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## jiggy (Jun 27, 2004)

it sucks when ur at someone elses house.. especially a hot girl, and u just met her cuz u went with ur friends to her house.. watchin a movie, eating pizza, spicy buffalo wings, chips n dip.. n then u have to sh*t.. and the bathroom is right next to where everyone is hanging out.. so if u get away with a silent sh*t, the smell still gets out when u open the door.. n its the worst when someone is waiting to come in next.. and it sucks EVEN WORSE if its the hot chick


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## joey'd (Oct 26, 2005)

What do you call a japanesse prize fighter who's father has diahrrea.............. a slap happy jappy with a crap happy pappy


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## Guest (Mar 9, 2006)

Puff said:


> it sucks when ur at someone elses house.. especially a hot girl, and u just met her cuz u went with ur friends to her house.. watchin a movie, eating pizza, spicy buffalo wings, chips n dip.. n then u have to sh*t.. and the bathroom is right next to where everyone is hanging out.. so if u get away with a silent sh*t, the smell still gets out when u open the door.. n its the worst when someone is waiting to come in next.. and it sucks EVEN WORSE if its the hot chick


I was up skiing last year with my girlfriend and another couple. They were all in this small little room, and the bathroom door had like a 2inch space between it and the floor. No fan. I knew this was no coffee-and-newspaper sh*t, this was a "hold on an pray" type shyte. It was the worse thing, the more I tried to silent it, the more unnatural the noise were. By the end I was crying, and Im pretty sure anyone within a 50mile radius was also crying.

They took a picture of me after, apparently I had sweat through 2 shirts


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## b_ack51 (Feb 11, 2003)

nattereri2000 said:


> jiggy you reminded me of another thing i hate. same scenario you put down. you have to crap your ass off and you do the little power walk and bee line for the rest room...only to find a pair of feet in every stall. and you just let out that frustrated groan and think of a happy place. and then like you said, theres those restrooms that are WAY too quiet. you definately need a PA system playing music AND a loud ass vent fan in a public restroom. kind of the ice breaker. otherwise its just an embarased dude dropping a duece and a dude at the urinal trying to hurry the hell up and get out


What I hate for my building is we only have two stall for a floor of people in the office, so after lunch its a fight for the stalls. You gotta time it right, go right after lunch or wait awhile. Cause the next hour after lunch the stalls almost have lines. Sometimes you'll wait or have a meeting, trying to hold it in as much as possible. Then finally meeting is over, I'll put my laptop back at my desk and go to the bathroom, to find the cleaning people "closed" the bathroom for the next 15 minutes.









Then you can try to walk down to a different floor, but everyone knows why you're there. I was pissed though, I went to a training class at one of the new buildings a street away and they had like 8 stalls. I was like "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD AWESOME", and after chipotle I christened the toilet.

Another annoying thing is having a boss that'll talk to you when you're trying to go to the bathroom. I'll be walking to the bathroom and my old boss will stop me and talk. Problem is, every conversation with him is over 5 minutes at least.


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## Azeral (Dec 28, 2004)

If this thread keeps up steam....I think its hall of fame material


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## Guest (Mar 10, 2006)

Azeral said:


> If this thread keeps up steam....I think its hall of fame material


I remember the first post I ever read on P-Fury...and it was some guys story about how he ate macaroni at a buffet and shat all over the place, and then he had to get the manager to bring him a hose to wash it all down the drain.

I wonder who that person was


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## Puff (Feb 14, 2005)

quickdeath said:


> I was in the Army for a number of years, there you would have no stalls, no doors, etc.
> I became a free-spirit. If you want to know how to keep people out of a public bathroom when you are taking a sh*t, just leave the stall door open.
> When I was in Iraq we were always on the go. If we had Hum-V's I would carry a roll of plastic sheeting. I would roll out a big square and sh*t on it right in the middle of the city. My guys thought I was nuts but after a while they all were doing it. Sometimes you gotta sh*t ASAP, and you must be prepared! I'm not shy about taking a sh*t, if some freak wants to watch more power to him. I drop the kids off in the pool and then head out!


i was reading a book about D squadron from the SAS in the first Gulf War. the guys would do the same thing and sh*t on plastic sheets in the desert, but most would go away from everyone to have some privacy (you sick bastard QD







lol). anyways, one day one guy went to take a dump. and two guys followed him with a camera. they snapped a pic when he was part way through pushing one out...and he still hadnt noticed them. later that day they snuck back to the same place and both guys pinched a long log each. one of the sick f*ckers pinched the two together so it formed one LOONG log. the guy said it was 2 feet long. then they snapped a picture of that puppy sitting on the plastic sheet.

they took the set of photos and mailed it to Guiness World Records asking if it set a new record for longest bowel movement. they addressed it from the guy they caught partway through sh*tting and i think the guy actually received a letter from Guiness back saying that they 'werent able to accept applications for that record.' the guy didnt know anything about it until he got the letter and pictures back from guiness!!!lol

sorry, i had to tell that story. when i read it i was laughing so hard i was crying. there was one other funny poo story in that book. the guy that wrote it, Cameron Spence, is a riot. shame he only wrote the one book about his time in the army.

QD, you gotta write a book man





















lol


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## Winkyee (Feb 17, 2003)

We have them new "auto flushers" in our new building and I hate them.
You've got to stand up to get a courtesy flush.








If you haven't sat long enough it doesn't flush .
When it does flush, chances are you're still leaving Timbitsin there.


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## b_ack51 (Feb 11, 2003)

DannyBoy17 said:


> We have them new "auto flushers" in our new building and I hate them.
> You've got to stand up to get a courtesy flush.
> 
> 
> ...


There's a button you can press next to the sensor.


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## Jewelz (Feb 24, 2004)

Ah man

Today I come in and both stalls are occupied. I had to go pretty bad so I go down to the 1st floor to the Rock Bottom brewery which is connected to our building where I don't have to go outside to go there and they got a pretty nice restroom, you just gotta now the code (which is 420







) to get in. Ohhhh man, the luxury - had the whole restroom to myself and a nice huge handicapped stall not adjacent to any others... boy I tell ya, life doesn't get much better than this
















Then I saw this guy who worked at Rock Bottom go into the stall after I was done and washing my hands, I was like - have fun, dude, I christened it for you


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## jiggy (Jun 27, 2004)

it sucks when ur driving and then u have to take a huge sh*t all of a sudden.. u think bout turning around to go home, but ur just too far.. and the place ur going to is a place where u really dont wanna take a sh*t at..


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## CichlidAddict (Jul 1, 2005)

Just for kicks I did the math - I got paid $5.30 today to drop the kids off at the pool.
:laugh:


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## The Predator (Sep 28, 2005)

the school bathrooms are sick some retard pissed in the soap and craped in the urinals


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## Jewelz (Feb 24, 2004)

CichlidAddict said:


> Just for kicks I did the math - I got paid $5.30 today to drop the kids off at the pool.
> :laugh:


They raised the minimum wage AGAIN ???









j/k dude


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## C0Rey (Jan 7, 2006)

VENOM said:


> the school bathrooms are sick some retard pissed in the soap and craped in the urinals


lmoa


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## Puff (Feb 14, 2005)

Ron Mexico said:


> Just for kicks I did the math - I got paid $5.30 today to drop the kids off at the pool.
> :laugh:


They raised the minimum wage AGAIN ???









j/k dude















[/quote]

no, he took an hour long sh*t!


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## jiggy (Jun 27, 2004)

VENOM said:


> the school bathrooms are sick some retard pissed in the soap and craped in the urinals


in middle school i used to vandalize everything.. one time i was standing in the middle of the school bathroom that was empty taking a piss and spinning in circles and a teacher walked in on me, took me down to the principal, and called my parents.. everyone just had the 'W-T-F' look on their faces


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## Jewelz (Feb 24, 2004)

jiggy said:


> the school bathrooms are sick some retard pissed in the soap and craped in the urinals


in middle school i used to vandalize everything.. one time i was standing in the middle of the school bathroom that was empty taking a piss and spinning in circles and a teacher walked in on me, took me down to the principal, and called my parents.. everyone just had the 'W-T-F' look on their faces
[/quote]








lol... why does that not shock me one bit ?


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## b_ack51 (Feb 11, 2003)

Ron Mexico said:


> the school bathrooms are sick some retard pissed in the soap and craped in the urinals


in middle school i used to vandalize everything.. one time i was standing in the middle of the school bathroom that was empty taking a piss and spinning in circles and a teacher walked in on me, took me down to the principal, and called my parents.. everyone just had the 'W-T-F' look on their faces
[/quote]








lol... why does that not shock me one bit ?








[/quote]

Be careful Jewelz, don't make fun of Jiggy or he'll come over and pee on your bathroom.









Look Jiggy caught in the act.


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## The Predator (Sep 28, 2005)

this dude washed his hands and he smelled like pee all day because of the soap


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## kingsnar (Nov 17, 2005)

I dont have the slighest f*cking clue as why public bathrooms (espically middle and high schools') have f*cking sh*t and piss everywhere.... do people just have bad aim and instead of dropping kids at the pool the fling them at the wall? why would you go out of your way to spread sh*t all over the f*cking place?

all i can think of right now is dumb and dumber where that blonde guy (dumber i think) is in the bathroom scene


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