# How To Kill Iguanas



## Gear Wiz (Nov 17, 2006)

http://www.anapsid.org/iguana/killingigs.html

After fielding literally hundreds of "iguana calls" on the NOAH [Northern Ohio Association of Herpetologists] Information Line, I have developed the following guidelines that would be useful if you wish to kill an iguana.

First of all, you must purchase a hatchling from your local pet shop that deals mostly with fish, birds and small mammals. You may even want to buy from a dealer at a swap meet that has many wild-caught animals. Be sure to choose the very smallest iguana at the bottom of the pile of 50 to 100 hatchlings, one that is real tame and just lays in your hand. Don't buy an iguana that tries to jump out of your hand, bite you or whip you with its tail. Better yet, why not buy two iguanas (they're cheap) so they can keep each other company? Remember, don't buy one of those bright eyed "wild" iguanas.

Don't buy a book on iguana care. You don't want to waste those few extra bucks. Your friends have had several iguanas and they can tell you how to take care of one. Of course, none of those iguanas lasted more than a few months. Never talk to an experienced herpetologist! They often tell you more than you want to know.

Buy a small plastic cage or a ten gallon aquarium. Your friends told you that if you keep the iguana in a small cage it won't get too big. You've seen iguanas that were two years old and only about ten inches long.

Now you need a heat source. A hot rock sounds like a good idea. The guy from the pet shop said that you had to have a hot rock. Your friend said that his iguana loved his hot rock so much that he stayed on it all the time. He did notice one day that the iguana's belly was burned, though. Certainly the iguana would get off the hot rock if it were hot enough to burn him. Never use a thermometer in the cage - just guess whether it's warm enough. After all, digestion of food in reptiles has nothing to do with cage temperature.

What about a light? You remember hearing that iguanas need a light. Don't but a Vitalite®, with proper UV rays; they're too expensive and you'll have to replace it every six months or so. Get one of those inexpensive plant lights. If they help plants grow, why wouldn't they be good for an iguana?

A substrate is the next best thing. Maybe some cedar chips. That will keep the smell of stool down. Gravel or sand might even work. Then you won't be able to see the stool...it will just sink to the bottom. Never use newspaper or astroturf. They have to be changed too frequently. And speaking about cleanliness, never disinfect the cage with a bleach solution.

Don't provide any climbing areas, such as branches. Don't even try to find out what type of natural habitat the animal originates from. After all, it's in captivity now.

When you get the iguana home, be sure to handle it a lot right away. Carry it around on your shoulder and show it to all your friends. They'll be impressed with how tame it is, since it just sits there. They'll probably remark how cute it is and go get one themselves. After all, everybody has one and they're easy to take care of. Why even the five-year-old down the street has one. He even kisses his iguana. Why not? They're clean. Only turtles carry salmonella, right?

Feeding is a simple matter. Just go to the grocery store and get the food the iguana will eat. Offer him lots of iceberg lettuce, bananas, and dog or cat food. Lots of spinach and broccoli is good, too. It's not a good idea to supplement the iguana's diet with vitamins and minerals, but if you must, don't pay any attention to whether the iguana actually eats the food the supplement is sprinkled on. If the iguana doesn't eat, don't worry; he must just not be hungry. Or maybe he's eating food when you're gone. You really never have seen him eat, though. That's okay; you've always heard that reptiles don't eat much food anyways.

If you do give your iguana water (even though you've heard that they get all the water they need from their food), don't change the water very often. It's okay to leave the stool in the water bowl until you get around to cleaning it.

After a month or two you may notice that your little iguana is moving around less than he ever did. He seems to drag his rear legs and his spine is a little crooked. Don't be concerned, though; his arms and legs look real chubby and they're rock solid, so he must be okay. Oh, and those tiny red specks that you see moving around on him...don't give them a second thought.

And for heaven's sake, don't ever take an iguana to a veterinarian who is familiar with reptiles. That would cost much more than you ever paid for the animal. Besides, dogs and cats are the only animal one ever takes to a vet. Can reptiles really suffer and feel pain anyhow?

And last but not least, if you finally succeed in killing your iguana, then just go out and get another one and try again. The first one may have been sick when you got it.


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## ...Jay... (Nov 2, 2006)

when I decided to get an iguana, I made myself somewhat of an expert, by reading online for some rediculous amounts of time. I came across this artical and thought it was pretty good. Lots of good "what not to do" stuff in there.

Even though I "baby" my iguana, he still hates me, and might spend the rest of his days humping. My uncle has a guy who will take him to add to his breeders, so at least he wont end up being just one more unwanted iguana.

For anyone wanting one, DONT DO IT. You might get lucky and he/she will be nice, or you might get a jerk, and he wont let you touch him without flipping out, unless you take hours out of the day, every day, for up to 2 years to break him.(which I've been doing)

All the lights, and food, and equipment for building his incloser cost me alot, and at the end of the day I have an iguana that hates me. THEY DONT MAKE GOOD PETS! I wish I would have listened when I read that over and over, hopefully someone will listen better than me.


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## jmax611 (Aug 6, 2006)

haha that was a long read but worth it


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## Leasure1 (Jul 24, 2006)

At first I was taking it seriously....then I realized..... oh yeah.....how to KILL an iguana. lol


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## WaxmasterJ (Jan 8, 2007)

I disagree with you there bro, My iguana was great, very friedly. he was an awsome pet. He used to fall asleep on my stomach. I had him until he wa about 3 and a hlaf feet long, then I gave him away to a local pet store which gave him to a kid that had just lost his 12 year old iguana and was lookng for a new one. Max was agreat pet, the are high maintenence however, I think they are a pet best left for enthusiasts. Same is to be said about alligators. *Do not buy an iguana or an alligator unless you plan on spedning alooooot of money to keep up on their maintenece, and you are dedicated and willing to keep the animals for a very long time!!*

I disagree with you there bro, My iguana was great, very friedly. he was an awsome pet. He used to fall asleep on my stomach. I had him until he wa about 3 and a hlaf feet long, then I gave him away to a local pet store which gave him to a kid that had just lost his 12 year old iguana and was lookng for a new one. Max was agreat pet, the are high maintenence however, I think they are a pet best left for enthusiasts. Same is to be said about alligators. *Do not buy an iguana or an alligator unless you plan on spedning alooooot of money to keep up on their maintenece, and you are dedicated and willing to keep the animals for a very long time!!*

This is directed at jayson btw


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## ...Jay... (Nov 2, 2006)

^^^As I said, YOU MIGHT GET LUCKY. Some people get ones that have no problem being tamed, and seem like they actually like people. Its a crap shoot. It all depends on the animal you happen to get. Givin the exact same care, one might hate you for 2 years even when being handled every day, and another might get used to being handled in a week or 2. You were luckier than me.

And I stand by my statement that they dont make good pets. Even if you get one that is willing to tollerate your handling, it still takes way more upkeep than most animals. Especially when they get big.


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## therizman1 (Jan 6, 2006)

I always do rediculous amounts of research before getting a pet now. Before I got my first red bellies, I read just about everything I could on this forum and a few other site for almost 4 months before I got my first baby rbps... and well after that it was just a matter of time before I got the "serra addiction" that I now have. Same thing before I got dart frogs except I read about them for about 6 months before deciding to finally get some and now I love them! I think people really should view pets as basically having a new born baby, you dont just have a baby and throw them in a cage and hope they grow up ok... you shouldnt be doing that with pets either.


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## C0Rey (Jan 7, 2006)

someone should write one like that about p's...

funny stuff!


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## NegativeCamber (Nov 29, 2004)

WaxmasterJ said:


> I disagree with you there bro, My iguana was great, very friedly. he was an awsome pet. He used to fall asleep on my stomach. I had him until he wa about 3 and a hlaf feet long, then I gave him away to a local pet store which gave him to a kid that had just lost his 12 year old iguana and was lookng for a new one. Max was agreat pet, the are high maintenence however, I think they are a pet best left for enthusiasts. Same is to be said about alligators. *Do not buy an iguana or an alligator unless you plan on spedning alooooot of money to keep up on their maintenece, and you are dedicated and willing to keep the animals for a very long time!!*
> 
> I disagree with you there bro, My iguana was great, very friedly. he was an awsome pet. He used to fall asleep on my stomach. I had him until he wa about 3 and a hlaf feet long, then I gave him away to a local pet store which gave him to a kid that had just lost his 12 year old iguana and was lookng for a new one. Max was agreat pet, the are high maintenence however, I think they are a pet best left for enthusiasts. Same is to be said about alligators. *Do not buy an iguana or an alligator unless you plan on spedning alooooot of money to keep up on their maintenece, and you are dedicated and willing to keep the animals for a very long time!!*
> 
> This is directed at jayson btw


Is it me, or did you just repeat yourself?









Funny article... long read but enjoyed it.


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## weister42 (Apr 30, 2006)

C0Rey said:


> someone should write one like that about p's...
> 
> funny stuff!


"How to kill a piranha"

1. Drain water
2. .....
3. Dead


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